Book Slut

thought of the day

2008-12-10T15:44:00.000-08:00

How did Gwen Stefani go from this:

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed and it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me to hold your hand
'Cause I'm just a girl, little old me
So don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights
I've had it up to here
The moment that I step outside
So many reasons for me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things that I fear
'Cause I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive late at night
I'm just a girl, guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes
I'm just a girl, take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype
I've had it up to here
Am I making myself clear?
I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world
That's all that you'll let me be
I'm just a girl living in captivity
Your rule of thumb makes me worry some
I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to is making me numb
I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum, there's no comparison
I've had it up to
I've had it up to
I've had it up to here

to this:

Uh huh, this my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit [4x]
I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit [4x]
So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit 4x]
Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Again, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit [4x]

to this:

Don't get it twisted, don't get clever
This is the most craziest shit ever
Ok, this is the most craziest shit ever
Top of the charts I wish I did feel better
So I take a two this is before I knew
What to do? What to do?
Ahhh, what's that?
Got a mood & I'm trippin' & my head is a block
Collecting all of the symptoms, about to call the Doc
Get a hold of yourself you are acting odd girl
It's goin' on & on & on & on & on(Uh oh uh oh)

*headdesk*

period rant

2008-11-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

Check out Tampax's new ad campaign called Outsmart Mother Nature. In it, a woman in a very unfortunately green jacket tells us that as Mother Nature, she creates several natural disasters, such as earthquakes, volcanoes, the iceberg that sank the Titanic, and your period. One of these things is not like the other...
I really can't stand these ads that paint getting your period as this horrible curse that you must suffer because you were unlucky enough to be born female. Yeah, getting your period can be uncomfortable, crampy, emotional, whatever, but portraying it as this disgusting thing just reinforces the idea that women's bodies are icky.
And one other thing- why is it that every time I get my period I have to shell out $12 for a glorified box of cotton? What the hell? Why is it that Viagra is covered by health insurance yet tampons are not? You know if guys were the ones bleeding out of their special parts, the government would be handing out free Diva Cups like candy. Yet we lady folks must pay up month after month for what is basically a medical condition. Well, fuck that I say!
And what is up with calling the period aisle at CVS or wherever the "feminine hygenie" aisle? What does that crap even mean? "Oh gee, my vagina is being all bloody and dirty again, better go get some tampons and douche!" Ew. No. Why can't we just call it "the period aisle"? I mean, come on! What's with this bullshit euphemism (that again convieniently connotates that women's bodies are dirty)? Women make up over 50% of the population and we have PERIODS. Just SAY IT.

Yeah, guess what I got this morning?

happy day

2008-11-27T13:45:00.001-08:00

I'll save the rants on genocide and colonialism for another time.

May your blessings exceed your burdens.

give me a reason

2008-11-05T20:22:00.000-08:00

On a thread the other day I asked what I would tell my children if Prop 8 passed. With this tight feeling in my throat, I’ve been trying to answer that question all day. I have to tell them that that America will always break their hearts.
-Thomas, guest-blogging on Feministe

Less than 12 hours after I fell in love with America all over again, it broke my heart.

Why?

I'd say more, but I really can't bear to think about it.

so did you hear about this election thing?

2008-11-04T20:10:00.001-08:00

Today America elected its first African-American president: Barack Obama. I am so overwhelmed with emotion right now. All I can do is cry. God, I'm so happy.

john mccain: still not funny

2008-10-30T18:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the only good news is it's not a rape joke.

Reporter: Senator McCain's day began with a round of interviews on some of Miami's popular Spanish-language radio stations. One of the hosts, Enrique Santos, told McCain he was planning to cast his ballot the next day and remained undecided.
McCain: We have surveillance cameras, and we'll know how you vote, okay? [laughter] So, you, uh, I would suggest, if you vote the wrong way, you hire someone to start your car tomorrow morning. [laughter]
Reporter: That was a joke.

There's no better way to start your day than a joke about spying on and threatening American citizens!

Christ, I really, really, really loathe this jackass.

when i'm 18, i get to vote

2008-10-30T17:59:00.000-07:00

This is the cutest fucking thing ever:

"A little more than a month [ago], teacher Joyce Ben-KiKi had [7-year-old Aron Mondschein and his second-grade classmates] each send letters to a famous person as part of a language arts lesson. Ben-KiKi wrapped the exercise around well-known children's book character "Flat Stanley," so along with the letters, the children each tucked a Flat Stanley figure they had made into each envelope."I told them not to expect a letter back," Ben-KiKi said. "I told them these people are very busy and most likely will not write back."The list of recipients was impressive: Yankee third basemen Alex Rodriguez; Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Olympic gold medalist Mark Spitz; Republican presidential candidate and U.S. Sen. John McCain. [Aron wrote his letter to Democratic presidential candidate and U.S. Sen. Barack Obama.]Obama was the only one to write back.…Obama's three-page letter to Aron described Flat Stanley's visit with him and his staff in Washington, D.C. It chronicled their busy day together, which included coffee with constituents, a Senate committee meeting and a trip to the gym. It also had historical facts about the U.S. Capitol, details of Obama's job and a confession from Obama."Sometimes I get a little nervous before talking in front of a crowd, but Flat Stanley helped me practice the speech," Obama wrote. 'He made me recite it in front of him and then even gave me some advice so the speech would go smoothly. Flat Stanley is really a great coach.' "

The next day, Aron went up and told his mother, "When I'm 18, I get to vote!" How fantastic is it to hear about kids getting excited to vote?

And a note: I'm not crediting Obama with personally writing this note, as I realize there is a large possibility that he didn't. I'm crediting his campaign with paying attention to letters from kids with this amount of personal detail, and with motivating a young child to realize how important and all-around cool voting will be.

change of heart

2008-10-27T17:25:00.000-07:00

Remember when Sarah Palin declared that she was a feminist? Well, not so much anymore.

In an interview on NBC Nightly News that aired yesterday, Brian Williams asked Palin: "Governor, are you a feminist?"
"I'm not gonna label myself anything, Brian," said Palin. "And I think that's what annoys a lot of Americans, especially in a political campaign, is to start trying to label different parts of America different, different backgrounds, different...I'm not going to put a label on myself."

This is one time when a political candidate's flip-flopping really doesn't bother me. Go ahead and stay label-free, Governor. Because I don't know many feminists who would label you as such. And it doesn't help that you've got McCain running his mouth off about how you're the "direct counterpoint to the liberal feminist agenda for America".

(By the way, what IS the liberal feminist agenda for America? I'm always hearing conservatives talking about the feminist agenda and the gay agenda and I feel really hurt that I wasn't invited to the Radical Meetings in which these agendas were apparently decided and sent out. At the very least someone could send me an email just letting me know what these agendas are, you know? I feel so out of the loop.)

I'm honestly really, really sick of this election. It's just been ten long months of this ugliness. Can we please just shut McCain out of the White House nice and quickly and then move on with our lives?

the personal is political

2008-10-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling over this entry for awhile now. The issue of body image is one that has in some way affected almost all of the girls I've been friends with over the years. I don't know when it started, but it seemed like one day we all just woke up hating our bodies. How does this happen, why does it happen? We can name the usual suspects- billboards, MTV, magazines, etc. But it seems like that's almost not enough. There must be some radical reason why girls start hating the way they look with an intensity that seemingly comes out of nowhere. But if this is true, it's a reason that has eluded me.
I never really struggled with my body the way some girls did when I was growing up. Of course there were days I wished my breasts would just grow already or that my skin would magically clear. But when I grew older I accepted the fact that I'd never have an ample chest and admired my long legs and my green eyes. I never struggled with eating. I used to joke that although I seemed like the perfect candidate for anorexia (perfectionist, overachiever, worrier), I didn't have the willpower required to keep myself from eating. When I stopped to think about it, I felt like I had in some way dodged a bullet.
It didn't last. Since spring eating has felt like some unconquerable task. In her book Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters, Courtney Martin describes how when she was a teenager she struggled with an "almost eating disorder", which sounds like the best way to describe my experience. It seems to be getting better through therapy and the like, but I still wonder: how did this happen? How does this happen to girls like me?
At the climax of this, I felt like I was struggling with two people. I had this feminist self, who's read Fat is a Feminist Issue and Body Outlaws and Our Bodies, Ourselves and could rationally tell myself that I was beautiful and my body needed food to keep itself healthy and starving myself wouldn't make me happy. But it was like trying to use logic to conquer an emotion that was too great to be ignored. I couldn't avoid the girl inside of me that was scared and lonely and always, always hungry, the one who believed that if I couldn't control the pain I felt then at least I could control what I ate.
I wish I could pinpoint something that started this, some kind of reason that would give meaning to this experience. At the very least I could use it to speak out and say, "Here's what I went through and why I went through it" and maybe it could help explain why some girls struggle so much with food. But I know that the reasons behind my struggle are complex and multilayer and that to shorten it to one concrete fact would be impossible. And even if it was possible, that one reason wouldn't speak to the many different experiences people have, it would only be the story of one girl at this one time in life. I think it's that logical side of me again, searching for something simple and understandable. Because I don't really understand why it is that the rational I tell myself seems completely meaningless when it comes time for dinner. I don't understand why so many people starve and purge and binge. I wish that there was some good that could come out of all this. So I'm writing about my experiences in case there does turn out to be some good, that someone will read this and feel a little less alone.
I feel like I could go on about this issue for hours and still feel unfinished, but right now I'm just working on grounding myself. One day at a time.

what, you thought you'd get a real post?

2008-10-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

I'm way too ~~lazy~~ busy working on college apps to write a real post so here's a rough draft of my latest opinion column for my school's paper. enjoy.

I’ve got a question. If you were to watch the five most popular television shows of the 1950s, how many references to teenage pregnancy do you think you’d find? I’m guessing the answer is zero. Compare this to the references to teen pregnancy in today’s movies and television- the number goes up dramatically. Personally, I think this is a good thing. Pregnancy is an issue that many students will think about, worry about, or experience and should be acknowledged if a movie or television show wants to portray a broad and accurate depiction of teenage life. Here is where my problem with teen pregnancy in entertainment lies: there are extremely few programs that describe this experience with anything resembling accuracy.
Full disclosure: I love the movie Juno. I know that lots of people do too. But let’s try to move past our love for Paulie Bleaker and the Moldy Peaches soundtrack and admit that the movie did not register high on the Reality Scale. First off, I don’t know about you guys, but if I told my dad I was pregnant, there’s no way he would simply look stern for a minute and then make a quip. Also, did anyone else find it odd that contraceptives were rarely mentioned? Juno is obviously a smart girl; why is it she didn’t think to have protected sex? There are possible explanations for this; perhaps they forgot in the heat of the moment. But then why wasn’t this explanation mentioned? To me, this omission makes no sense.
Another issue with the depictions of teen pregnancy is the lack of discussion about abortion. 22% percent of pregnancy ends in abortion and 17% of those abortions are had by teenagers, according to a 2008 study from the Guttmacher Institute. Whatever your personal stance on abortion may be, the fact is that abortion is a factor that comes into play in teenage pregnancy. So why is it that abortion rarely even discussed as a possible option, much less an option that a character eventually follows through on? Take ABC Family’s new series The Secret Life of the American Teen. I watched the first two episodes out of curiosity to see how a family show would handle the touchy subject of teen sexuality and its consequences. I was pretty disappointed to say the least. The show’s depiction of the main character’s pregnancy was dismal. First off, the main character kept claiming how she didn’t even know if she’d had sex or not- because if the show was going to portray a pregnant teen, then they’d have to show the stereotypical good girl, and good girls don’t know about sex. In this day and age, how many high school students do you know who can’t tell you what sex actually is? Also, abortion isn’t really mentioned- rather, it’s “mentioned”. Let me explain: when the main character reveals her pregnancy, one of her friends asks her if she has considered “the A word”. The other friend gasps and the main character looks as though her friend has told her to stab her womb with a pair of rusty scissors. It’s one thing if a character decides that abortion isn’t the right choice for whatever reason, it’s another if it’s shown as an act that cannot be even mentioned as a possibility.

Yeah, that's about all I've got. I started going on a bit of a rant on gender roles on The Secret Life of the American Teen but I wasn't sure that'd fly well at my school. We don't talk about gender roles all that often. This is about as academic as my brain can be right now, it's pretty fried out from writing 150 words on why X College is right for me. I'm thisclose to scrawling on a piece of paper, "I'm awesome, just LET ME IN I'M SO NICE I'LL MAKE YOU CUPCAKES!! Then I can sleep for more than five hours tonight" and sending it in. Maybe someone there will take pity on my poor soul.

Then again, maybe not.

some people write witty titles

2008-10-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Rev. Peter Mullen has a lovely piece up on his blog. The champlain of the London Stock Exchange has not only proved that everyone and his mother has a blog nowadays, but that he is a homophobic bigot. He stated that religious people should start clamoring for the queer community to be branded, creating "discouragements of homosexual practices after the style of warnings on cigarette packets". He went on to say, "'Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS".
This is how prejudice works. It brands a certain people as less than human, making it okay to hate them or hurt them or advocate for them to be branded with a scarlet letter. I don't know why people still get so surprised when they read about hate crimes/murders. When you allow this breeding ground for hate to flourish, the result can be nothing good. In other words, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

less than reassuring

2008-10-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

so palin's interview with katie couric was like watching the second half of Titanic, except there was no kate winslet to make the pain go away.

here's a quote on newspapers and other media:

Palin: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.
Couric: What, specifically?
Palin: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.
Couric: Can you name a few?
Palin: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too. Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, “Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?” Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

for one thing, alaska seems like an amazing place that i'd love to visit one day. but you cannot honestly tell me it is the freaking epitome of america. also, is there a reason why she does not name one single news source after being asked twice? it is not supposed to be a stumper.

she also decided to call herself a feminist, which is interesting considering that she has not one feminist value. she talks about equal pay (more on that later) and says that:

I’m a feminist who, uh, believes in equal rights and I believe that women certainly today have every opportunity that a man has to succeed, and to try to do it all, anyway. And I’m very, very thankful that I’ve been brought up in a family where gender hasn’t been an issue. You know, I’ve been expected to do everything growing up that the boys were doing. We were out chopping wood and you’re out hunting and fishing and filling our freezer with good wild Alaskan game to feed our family.

okay, for one thing, feminism is about more than just equal rights. my favorite definition of feminism comes from bell hooks: "Feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression." sarah palin is not a feminist by any definition, because she has done nothing that supports the feminist cause. i'd argue that she is an anti-feminist: she does not support women's reproductive rights, she does not support ending gay oppression, and she hasn't spoken out against racism, but i'd be shocked to find out she gave a damn about that. she's just using feminist language to try and appeal to the womenfolk, we vagina voters, and i'm pretty sick of it. also? we get it, you lived in alaska, you chopped your own wood and hunted rabbits and fed your family like Little House on the Tundra. ENOUGH already, please.

anyways, since palin is such a great feminist crusader, she of course supports equal wages for women. shockingly enough, she doesn't support an act that could have made that happen.

Couric: Where do you stand on the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act?
Palin: I’m absolutely for equal pay for equal work. The Ledbetter pay act - it was gonna turn into a boon for trial lawyers who, I believe, could have taken advantage of women who were many, many years ago who would allege some kind of discrimination. Thankfully, there are laws on the books, there have been since 1963, that no woman could be discriminated against in the workplace in terms of anything, but especially in terms of pay. So, thankfully we have the laws on the books and they better be enforced.
Couric: The Ledbetter act sort of lengthens the time a woman can sue her company if she’s not getting equal pay for equal work. Why should a fear of lawsuits trump a woman’s ability to do something about the fact that women make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. And that’s today.
Palin: There should be no fear of a lawsuit prohibiting a woman from making sure that the laws that are on the books today are enforced. I know in a McCain-Palin administration we will not stand for any measure that would result in a woman being paid less than a man for equal work.
Couric: Why shouldn’t the Ledbetter act be in place? You think it would result in lawsuits brought by women years and years ago. Is that your main problem with it?
Palin: It would have turned into a boon for trial lawyers. Again, thankfully with the existing laws we have on the books, they better be enforced. We won’t stand for anything but that. We won’t stand for any discrimination in the workplace - that there isn’t any discrimination in America.

yeah, thank god we have laws in place that say women should have equal rights. and all we have to do to fix the whole "77 cents to a dollar" problem is just say really sternly that those rules better be enforced and lo and behold, they will be. i just love it when magic solves my problems for me!

and then we got her views on the queer community. jill at feministe put it best, so i'm going to quote her here:
Did you know that Palin has a gay friend? Because she does. Or rather, not a gay friend, a friend who just happens, coincidentally, to be gay. Who Palin just loves. But not like that. Because Palin has made a different choice in life; the choice to be straight, which she apparently sat down and thought about. Unlike her gay friend, who has chosen to be gay. Also, who has chosen to be her friend. Good friend. Who happens to be gay. Who she is not judging.

but the worst part of the interview was when couric asked her about roe v. wade. i'm not talking about her anti-choice views, we all know that. i'm talking about the fact that she doesn't seem to know any other Supreme Court cases. transcript here.

Couric: Why, in your view, is Roe v. Wade a bad decision?

Sarah Palin: I think it should be a states' issue not a federal government-mandated, mandating yes or no on such an important issue. I'm, in that sense, a federalist, where I believe that states should have more say in the laws of their lands and individual areas. Now, foundationally, also, though, it's no secret that I'm pro-life that I believe in a culture of life is very important for this country. Personally that's what I would like to see, um, further embraced by America.

Couric: Do you think there's an inherent right to privacy in the Constitution?

Palin: I do. Yeah, I do.

Couric: The cornerstone of Roe v. Wade.

Palin: I do. And I believe that individual states can best handle what the people within the different constituencies in the 50 states would like to see their will ushered in an issue like that.

Couric: What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

Palin: Well, let's see. There's, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but …

Couric: Can you think of any?

Palin: Well, I could think of … any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But, you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I'm so privileged to serve, wouldn't be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today.

this is who we're going to get stuck with if mccain gets elected president. this is the woman who will be our first female president if mccain dies. i want to be able to tell my daughter that the first female president was someone who i was proud to support, not someone who thinks that being close to russia will help her with foreign policy.

thought of the day

2008-09-30T13:29:00.001-07:00

if i hear one more person at my school say another sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, or classist statement i'm going to scream until my throat is raw.

i hereby demand you peruse this website

2008-09-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

i've been having a shitty week, but this totally made my day. i mean, come on, their ladyfesto starts off with "We Truly Tasteful Ladies Do Hereby Demand"! and yes, obviously it is a parody. i even checked to make sure.

also, am i the only one who really hopes that mccain doesn't show up for the debates tonight? i mean, how fucking funny would that be? he'd just be sitting at home, watching obama give a speech and drinking some 200-year -old scotch. but seriously, what the hell was mccain thinking? "our country is in financial ruin, so instead of telling you what solutions i have and why they're better than my opponent's, i'm going to stay home and think really hard about what i can do to save us."

just picture it: it's an hour and a half into the debate. obama's talking to the panal, when mccain bursts in, damp with sweat, and yells, "STOP THE DEBATE. I HAVE JUST SAVED THE ECONOMY!" now that would be memorable.

"funny"

2008-09-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

my friend/facebook wife/fake lover, who we'll call madonna, and i often leave really weird postings on her livejournal. this often includes really weird questions (recent examples include: "if you were a church, what religion would you be? who would go to you?" and "if you were a personal ad, what would you say?"). so today i was cheating and googled "weird questions" and i found a site that seemed incredibly silly ("why doesn't mcdonald's have hot dogs?" seriously?) but i looked at in anyways. and in between "Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it [sic]" and "If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?" was "If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?" uh, yeah, those wacky lesbians. *headdesk*

of course this would happen on the same day that some guy in my english class told me to "go back to the kitchen" when i correctly answered a question that he had missed. oh, my sides. they ache from laughter.

ch-ch-changes

2008-09-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

quickie: obviously, i have changed the name of the blog. somewhere in between just wasn't really working for me. i absolutely love the new name, so it's here to stay.

what women want

2008-09-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

apparently it's photo day over here at book slut.

please explain to me what female issues on politics and lipstick have in common. oh, i know- absolutely nothing. it seems that newsweek is using the infallible logic of "well, we're doing a piece about women and we have to come up with a catchy cover that represents women...so lipstick, obviously".

anyone who wants to make the argument that we are living in a post-feminist society (god, there is nothing i hate more than that term) should kindly explain to me why in this day and age it is a-okay to put such a sexist image on the cover of a national magazine.

also, i am all for women expressing their views in whatever form possible, but i really do not like women being summed up as this huge solitary group. this applies to many, many articles/media outlets in our society, but let's focus on this one for a minute. what i want politically is completely different from what my mother wants, which is different than from what the mother of the kids i babysit for wants, which is different than from what my boss wants. women are just too diverse to be clumped together like this. now, i realize that of course stats can tell us how people are voting, but i don't really understand how beneficial it can be to state something like, "on a national level, 57% of women support obama" (i'm using that as a made-up example, it is not an actual statistic) but what does this statistic tell us about american women and how they think politically? if we really want to determine how women are voting, wouldn't it be much more useful to know that 68%hispanic women ages 18-45 support obama or 56% of caucasian women ages 45-70 support mccain instead of talking about women as one solitary group? i haven't seen this particular method being used with men, so why is it this way with women? i think this also correlates with women seen as a target audience. we've had mccain and obama both appearing during commercial breaks in lifetime's army wives as an attempt to appeal to women voters. what are we supposed to take from this? that all women watch lifetime, and if we discover that candidate x watches lifetime too then we'll vote for him? i just do not like the way that women voters are being represented in this election, and this magazine cover is like the cherry on top.

racist waffles

2008-09-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

you've got to be fucken kidding me. obama waffles? seriously? oh, and i love the muslim caricature. because obviously america has not gotten the message that obama is muslim and muslim people are scary terrorists. this lovely product was produced by a committee called the American Values and Focus on the Family Action. because racism is always a family value. honestly, i can't even bring myself to be surprised about this. what is unbelievable is the committee's excuse for peddling this crap: they claimed they had not realized that the boxes displayed "offensive material" and that it was meant as "political satire". sigh. you know what? if you're going to put out such blatantly racist and hate-spreading crap then you better own up to it, because you are fooling nobody with this "oops my bad" crap.

i want this

2008-09-15T14:08:00.000-07:00

this feministing t-shirt sums up my views perfectly. on the back, it says, "sarah palin does not speak for me".

second verse, same as the first

2008-09-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

let's state the obvious first: i do not like sarah palin. i vehemently disagree with her policies. however, as a feminist, i am glad to see a woman be elected to a powerful position, even if i do not agree with her stances. i am also impressed that she is able to balance the difficulties of raising five children and handling the demands of this election. and the fact that several of her policies are not women-friendly (such as her anti-choice stance even in the case of rape/incest, the fact that while she was governor of alaska women were charged for rape kits, and cut funding for alaskan shelters for pregnant teens) does not mean that progressives should speak out against the sexism directed towards palin.

i remember the day that palin's nomination was announced. i didn't know anything about her, so i checked a few blogs and news sites to see what was going on. immediately after reading about her policies, i noticed a post on feministing about the newly coined term websites were using for palin- VPILF. this couldn't have been more than a few hours after her nomination was announced. and the parade went on, of course, with merchandise such as sarah palin action figure dolls (i'm not linking to them, google them if you must. jsyk, the two different models are naughty schoolgirl palin and... i don't even know what the other one is, but it looks like stripper spy palin) and commentators remarking that they want her in their bed (yes, some jackass actually said this on television). i have also noticed many remarks that question palin's ability to be a mother. a lot of what kind of a mother fill in the blank? what kind of a mother puts her pregnant daughter under a spotlight? (and on that note, can we please leave that poor girl alone? bristol palin's pregnancy is a private matter and has nothing to do with palin's ability to be vice president) what kind of a mother runs for vice president so soon after having a baby? and a baby with down syndrome at that. and on and on and on. even my own mother is doing this. we were talking about palin and my mother said flat-out, "i don't like her because i think she is a bad mother". when i asked her what that has to do with palin's stances, my mom said, "nothing. but that still doesn't change what i think." true, but why is it part of the conversation in the first place? who are we to judge what kind of a mother she is, and why should we be doing this in the first place?

i would love to say that obama has taken this opportunity to (finally) speak out about the sexism that has followed this election every step of the way. but i can't. instead he said, "Look, she's new, she hasn't been on the scene, she has five kids." come on. if palin's husband had been the vp candidate, would obama be commenting on his five kids? because i think not.

if you are going to say something about palin, it had better be damn relevant to the election. under no circumstances is sexism okay, period.

thought for today

2008-09-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

i'm sitting in the student center of my school right now, a place that is most generally populated by underclassmen and avoided by upperclassmen due to its constant noise. it seemed pretty quiet today so i wandered in. as i'm doing some homework and checking some blogs, the kid next to me, a sophomore whose remarkable resemblence to macaulay culkin has earned him the clever nickname of "the macaulay culkin kid" is writing about the catcher in the rye, one of my favorite books. i know that he is writing about the catcher in the rye, because about one minute after i sat down he said loudly, "holden caulfield is such a faggot!" he continued this for 20 minutes until he left, with variations such as this is gay, faggot-ass this, faggot-ass that, and so on. needless to say, this drove me crazy. however, i didn't know what to do. i could have just snapped at him to shut up, but that would have made him angry. i could have explained to him why i took offense, but when i've tried this in the past during conversations with guys my age, they usually just ignore me. and yes, it would be great if he thought about what i said and stopped using homophobic slurs, but the reality is that there are many people who use this kind of language. my question is, what is the best response to this? and not just in this particular instance, i'd like to address the everyday types of prejudice (racism, sexism, classism, etc.) that you know you should combat, but you just can't see the point in it. i'm not sure if i'm articulating this correctly, but if anyone does have a suggestion to this, please comment and let me know.

maverick my ass

2008-09-06T15:24:00.000-07:00

like most of the country i've been watching both the democratic and the republican national conventions. as most of you know, mccain gave his speech thursday night. it wasn't much of a surprise to me; i found it dull and generic. mccain's never been much of a orator; he can't seem to find that rhythm one needs. but of course, the more important aspect is what he said. he kept speaking of how he's a fighter, how he has fought and will keep fighting for a "you" he kept mentioning over and over. this you that mccain refers to is not me. i don't know who this you is. and i don't know who mccain is fighting for. in his speech, he said:

"I fight for Americans. I fight for you. I fight for Bill and Sue Nebe from Farmington Hills, Michigan, who lost their real estate investments in the bad housing market. Bill got a temporary job after he was out of work for seven months. Sue works three jobs to help pay the bills.
I fight for Jake and Toni Wimmer of Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Jake works on a loading dock; coaches Little League, and raises money for the mentally and physically disabled. Toni is a schoolteacher, working toward her Master’s Degree. They have two sons, the youngest, Luke, has been diagnosed with autism. Their lives should matter to the people they elect to office. They matter to me.
I fight for the family of Matthew Stanley of Wolfboro, New Hampshire, who died serving our country in Iraq. I wear his bracelet and think of him every day. I intend to honor their sacrifice by making sure the country their son loved so well and never returned to, remains safe from its enemies."

but how? how does mccain fight for these people? was he fighting for sue nebe when he did not vote for and spoke out against the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act? was he fighting for luke wimmer when he told america that mercury in vaccines causes autism, a claim that scientific research does not support? was he fighting for matthew stanley's family when he told america that he was fine with the war in iraq going on for a hundred years?

the answer is no. mccain was fighting against these people, not with them. and he is fighting against anyone who believes that america is a country in dire need of true change, not the fake kind mccain is trying to peddle. he is fighting against me and my grandmother and my father's partner of nine years who is still waiting for citizenship and my girlfriends on birth control and my mother who worked as a prosecuter for nearly 20 years and got passed over for promotions countless times for her male coworkers who did not share her near-perfect court record.

mccain wants to fight for this country? great. so do i. right now, the best way to do that is to make sure this man stays the hell out of office.

jeezebug, i wish i could vote.

'allo?

2008-08-29T15:03:00.000-07:00

okay! so i'm back from my self-imposed exile. i probably won't be blogging as often as i could over the summer, as i am now a senior (i also turned 17 along the way) and taking four APs for reasons that are still unknown to me and running Gay-Straight Alliance (which i really want to rename Queer Alliance because i don't really think i identify with the gay/straight spectrum anymore. i don't really think that sexuality is that rigid as gay, straight, or bi) at my school and i'm the op-ed editor of the paper. which means that i am very, very busy and very, very tired. for a while my posts will probably be like, "obama, maybe? but mccain no. feminism good. misogyny bad. my back hurts."

i'm not crazy about obama, but i must say that i loved, loved, loved his speech last night and may have teared up one or six times.

i just finished toni morrison's beloved and i adored it. before that i read farenheit 451 and adored that as well. beloved was the first book by morrison that i've read. it kind of reminded me of dorothy allison, with the way she turns a phrase and her descriptions and the examinations of women and their relationships between them. but beloved also disturbed me. it was extremely chilling.

got to run, a friend's on her way over. i'll update later with a state of the union and something vaguely intriguing.

quote of the day

2008-08-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

context: this quote is a response to john mccain's recent remarks on his campaign tour. here's the transcript:
"You know, I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you have a beauty pageant, and so I encourage Cindy to compete. [Laughter, cheers, applause, wolf whistles.] I told- I told her, with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip."
i encourage you all to visit the political carnival (http://thepoliticalcarnival.blogspot.com/2008/08/pour-some-sugar-on-cindy-mccain.html) and view the NSFW mash-up at what goes on in Sturgis. hint: it's not answering questions about world peace. it's more of the girls-in-bikinis-licking-bananas-attached-to-people's-crouches variety. yeah.

and the quote:

"Well, I guess it's a step up from publicly calling her a cunt."
-the fabulous melissa mcewan from shakesville

losing my religion

2008-08-04T00:08:00.000-07:00

i was talking to goblin today about an incident with a mutual acquaintance that has been really bothering me. i told her that i wanted to write about it, but that i didn't know how. and she told me to say exactly that.

so. i've wanted to blog about this for a long time. but i don't even know where to fucking begin.

i guess i'll start here: last summer, i was fairly close with someone we'll call pundit. a poli-sci major who had recently graduated, he was at the time my only outlet for my political beliefs, which during my pre-self-education stage were mainly unorganized rants about reproductive rights (and this blog is clearly different than that because..uh...i know who bell hooks is now? let's go with that). pundit was the first person who actually listened to these beliefs and thought that what i had to say was important. this was a big deal for me, and i remember enjoying those conversations immensely.

pundit and i pretty much grew apart and stopped talking after that summer ended. pundit has always been a person with very few social skills and that awkwardness made it difficult to maintain a friendship with him, but there was no defining incident that tore us apart or changed my opinion of him. until a conversation i had with him a few weeks ago.

i got an im from pundit on facebook. i hadn't talked to him in months so it was unexpected, but that's just the way it goes with him. we had a reasonable pleasant conversation, until he mentioned the girls gone wild series for reasons i don't remember. and then he said this:
"That's something I really hate about women."

okay, let's pause for a minute here. in no uncertain terms is this an acceptable thing to say. i honestly could not believe that pundit, a college-educated political science major and self-identified liberal could say something so misogynistic and repugnant. but after more thought, i realized that the general american public would not be as shocked. think about it, how many "witty" opinion columns have you read where an oh-so-clever guy talks about he just hates how all women talk about themselves all the time! and he hates that they all are obsessed with the shoes! he hates women who watch sex and the city! oh-ho-ho, you clever man. i know just what you are talking about. i raise my budweiser to you, my friend. and of course, men are not the only ones who spew this bullshit. i'm willing to bet that the feminist online community has not forgotten about charlotte allen's "women are some dumb-as-fuck bitches" editorial. oh, sorry, i forgot. that was a "tongue-in-cheek" piece. it's pretty disturbing how okay it is in our society to talk about their hatred of women. and yeah, i realize that there are no articles being printed that simply read "I HATE WOMEN". but come on people, read between the fucking lines. hell, most of the time you don't even have to read between the lines because the lines just spell it out for you.

let me make it clear: hatred of any kind towards any group of people, whether it be based on race, gender, religion, age, sexual orientation, anything, is not okay. ever.

so going back to pundit. he tells me that he hates the "type of women" who are just big vapid whores flashing their tits for attention and more blahblahwomenhatingcakes. so i tell him, simply, "i think that's a very misogynistic thing to say". and i get this in response: "how so?".

okay, i realize that i've been quoting the dictionary lately, which i usually hate to do, but i just have to do it again:

Main Entry: mi·sog·y·ny
Pronunciation:\mə-ˈsä-jə-nē\
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek- misogynia, from misein to hate + gynē woman
Date: circa 1656
: a hatred of women

if you start off a conversation with "here's something i really hate about women" and then question why you are being called misogynistic, then i think that you should go look up the definition of the word "misogyny" and then come back and continue your argument with the recognition that you are actively hating women, and prepare yourself for the response you are going to receive from me (hint: i'm not going to be happy).

so i explain to him that his hatred of women who participate in GGW dvds is both inappropriate and extremely unhelpful to everyone, and that he should not blame the women who expose themselves on these shows but consider why they feel the need to do this, because something tells me it might have something to do with a society that tells women they must be sexy to be accepted and not the fact that women are genetically encoded to show their breasts to everyone.

then he logged off.

here's another hint: if we are having a conversation and i disagree with something you have to say, do not run away from me in the middle of the fucking discussion. i find it childish and offensive.

a day or so later, i get a message from him. i'm going to repost the conversation between us because i think it explains my position on the issue we discussed and illuminates some of pundit's beliefs.

pundit: I was saying that the women in the GGW dvds were not a credit to the female sex. The DVDs show college women, not in the act of learning, and making something of themselves, but degrading themselves and acting out because they are in front of a camera. Just as the stereotypical college male is a skirt chasing booze vacuum, the college girls depicted here are sex objects with little sense of pride or dignity. This is a stereotype that I would like to see discontinued. On another note, you should see the documentary "America the Beautiful", which addresses what you were talking about, with regards to the pressure on women to conform to a certain standard of beauty.
Sorry if there was a misunderstanding. I make a point of taking women seriously as people, and there are certain types of women who make it difficult.

alexandra: I think that the problem is that you're blaming the women, not our society. Do I like the Girls Gone Wild series? No, not really. Do I think it helps women? No, not really, especially considering the sleezeball nature of its founder. But who am I going to blame: the women who participate in the show, or Joe Francis and the culture that tells us that showing our tits will bring us love and attention? I'm going with option B. Ask yourself why it is that these women act the way they do in these films. Is it because they were born with some fundamental difference than you that causes them to bare their breasts to cameras? Or is it because they are only doing what society tells them they should do? Look at how highly sexualized our culture is, from the advertisements selling sex and women's bodies to the multibillion dollar sex industry. It's even worse with teenage or college-age girls. We are told to be sexy, but don't have sex. Have sex, but don't be a whore. Show us some cleavage, but good god, woman, put your shirt down. Is it any wonder that the girls of GGW dvd are so confused that they think that this is the best option for them? And how fair is it to call them "sex objects" and perpetuate the slut-shaming cycle? And where does the line between sexy and slut get drawn? Hey, I'm a teenage girl. I've dated several people and I've hooked up with people outside the confines of a relationship. Am I a slut?

pundit: As long as we're letting people off the hook for succumbing to society's expectations, should we forgive Adolf Eichmann, who worked out the nuts and bolts of the Holocaust? Eichmann's antisemitism and homophobia was more a function of his societal upbringing rather than pathology, and since he was career oriented, designing an empire spanning murder mill seemed like a great way to get ahead. A more contemporary example are the religious bigots, who are often home schooled, or educated in such a way as to discourage critical analysis of their preconceived notions. Why do we hate them for failing to rise above their bass-ackwards society?
Granted, flashing one's chesticles doesn't exactly amount to mass murder or bigotry, however, I consider sexuality a privileged commodity not to be wasted on the undeserving, and it mystifies me that young women would flash a camera held by somebody they don't even know, to make a DVD watched by perfect strangers.
If you consider your partners deserving, I'm fine with that. I am aware that many people are just sexually adventurous and like to try out different people. I know somebody like that and she's a very good friend of mine. Not a slut. As long as we're on the subject, why is it considered threatening whenever I go outside completely naked accept for my trench-coat? I always get dirty looks from people, especially mothers and nuns. There seems to be a double standard against male nudity.
PS Follow this linkhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America_the_Beautiful_%28film%29
PPS The words "slut", "whore", "skank" etc. are somewhat context sensitive when used by guys. This is especially true when used by MY guys. (Yes, I'm well aware of the pretentiousness and arrogance displayed by the fact that a particular clique would consider itself the sole arbiters of what constitutes a slut/whore/skank. Don't brow beat me about it.) If you ever happen to talk with Kirsten again, ask her to tell you about her old roommate, Amy. It's not a happy story. Hint: they don't talk anymore.
(NOTE: i have changed the names he mentions at the end of this message)
alexandra: Oh please, that is such a bullshit argument. You're honestly expecting me to take you seriously as you try to tell me that conforming to society's beauty standards are the same as the fucking Holocaust? That is a truly shameful comparison, and I think you know it.
Hey, you want a reason why impossible beauty standards are different than the Holocaust or religious extremity? Here it is: because they are fucking everywhere. Every. Fucking. Where. Not just one country, not just one culture. Everywhere. And you know what? Unless you acknowledge the fact that you are a white male who has a hell of a lot of privileges in society, you will never understand the struggles a woman has to face every day and you will never understand why I am telling you to lay off those girls and stop and think for a second about what it must be like to live in a world that tells you that if you are not beautiful, you are nothing. I'll repeat that: if you are not beautiful, you are nothing. Get off your high horse and take a fucking second to actually think about what these women are going through. Because guess what, when you sit around all day judging people, it helps absolutely no one. You're not solving a damn thing. In fact, you're adding to the problem.
And guess what, I am going to "browbeat" you about the fact that you think it's okay that you and your friends decide who is and who is not a slut. I think that's pretty disturbing. I'm even more disturbed about the fact that you actually wrote a paragraph justifying the fact that you go around as the Great Decider and calling girls whores if you think they reeeeeally deserve it. You think it's arrogant and pretentious? Guess what, you left behind "arrogance" a looong time ago, the minute you started attacking women based on how you perceive their sexuality. Let me help you out here: it is never okay to call a woman a slut, a whore, or a skank. Never. So cut it the fuck out.

pundit: Are you looking for an apology? 'Cuz it does seem strange that we're in agreement about the detrimental affects of GGW.
If you knew about my experience with Sarah Mayse, you might understand why I feel as I do.
The point of the Eichmann/GGW comparison was to illustrate that we are all responsible for our own behavior and attitudes, and cannot blame the society we live in for our actions. It is our duty to rise above it, not succum to it. To the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever been killed by breasts. (At least, not natural ones, but that's not really the point.) Perhaps a more appropriate metaphor would have been Shylock the Jewish loanshark, from Shakespear's "Merchant of Venice". When defending himself in court for attempting to exact a pound of flesh as payment for a debt, he claims that he is only conforming to his role as a greedy and merciless banker that society forced upon him.
"I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we shall resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction."

alexandra: I'm not looking for an apology. I'm telling you that you've said something I find offensive. An apology doesn't show me that you understand what I'm saying and you understand why what you said was offensive. It doesn't mean I hate you and it doesn't mean I'm taking it personally. This is the same way I would react with anyone who says something that really offends me. And no, I don't think we're in agreement about anything you've said here.
And I don't know who the hell Sarah Mayse is and frankly, I don't care. I don't care if Sarah Mayse has slept with every single person she's ever met. I don't care if Sarah Mayse has been a prostitute since age 12. It's still not okay to call women sluts and it is not something you can defend.

this conversation really, really disturbed me. let me share why.
TIPS FOR DISCUSSING WOMEN WITH ALEXANDRA:
1) do not tell me who is and who is not a credit to the female sex. it is not judgement day, and even if it was, i don't see a halo on your head.
2) do not tell me that you "make a point taking women seriously as people". that is quite possibly one of the most offensive things anyone has ever said to me, and if i have to tell you why, you are reading the wrong fucking blog.
3) do not compare girls gone wild to the fucking holocaust.
4) do not ask me why "we" hate religious bigots. in fact, do not use "we". you stick to yourself. i hate bigotry, not people. i refuse to hate people i have never met, because that is exactly what bigots do and i have seen too much shit from them to sink to their level.
5) guess what? sexuality is NOT a "a privileged commodity not to be wasted on the undeserving". i don't even know how to make sense of that ridiculous statement and i don't know how anyone could view that as a logical thing to say.
6) do not tell me that you are "just fine" with my sexual life. that is amazingly condescending.
6) i know i mentioned this in my message, but who the fuck do you think you are telling me that it's okay for you and your friends to call women sluts because you guys are the only ones allowed to do this?

i'm just so angry. and i'm disappointed. i think this hits me a lot harder than it would if it was just some random guy on the internet saying this, because it came from a friend.

i'm going to end this post with a quote from melissa mcewan, webmistress of my favorite blog, shakesville.

"Feminism is an integral part of progressivism.

If you're not a feminist, you're not a progressive.

No matter how much you hate Bush.

No matter how much you hate the Iraq war.

No matter how much you hate our current torture policy.

No matter how much you want to restore habeas corpus.

No matter how much you're totally going to vote for the Democrat in November.

If you're not a feminist, you're not a progressive.

You're a fauxgressive.

End of story."

grr. argh.

2008-07-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

"you're a feminist. deal with it." -jessica valenti.

chicklets, i am angrier than usual today.

people have just been saying pretty riddiculous things to me. people who are my friends. usually i can either overlook it. sometimes i'm even able to educate. something i'm pretty proud of was when i got a friend of mine to stop using the word "gay" as a synonym for "stupid". whenever he slips up and catches himself using it, i won't even have to correct him because he'll instantly realize, apologize, and correct himself. i think that's pretty cool. however, that is not what has been going on as of late.

here's one incident that's really been stuck in my mind. the other day, when asked if she was a feminist, a close friend of mine (who i actually assumed to be a feminist. *shrug*) snorted and said she was, and i quote, a huge anti-feminist even though she did support equality of the sexes.

what the fucking fuck?

okay, onto a more eloquent argument. let's start off with the dictionary definition of feminism, according to merriam webster
fem·i·nism
Pronunciation: \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\
Function: noun
Date: 1895
1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

so if my friend isn't a feminist, then can someone please tell me what the hell is? "i'm not a feminist, i just believe in the core feminist value". how does this make sense?
well, it does if you buy into the stereotype that feminists are ugly, uptight prudes who bitch at everyone, have no sense of humor, and never get laid. oh, and they're often man-hating lesbians.

hey, guess what? i'm a feminist, and i am funny. i am cute. and we're not talking about my personal life, but let me assure you that i have one. so i'm calling bullshit on the stereotypes.

also, let me tell you guys what an anti-feminist is. again, here's the dictionary definition: characterized by ideas or behavior reflecting a disbelief in the economic, political, and social equality of the sexes.
so if you're going to call yourself an anti-feminist, then for the love of god, please realize that you are telling people that you think men and women are not equal. you are not telling people that you like sex.

just...grrr.

penguin politics

2008-07-29T09:56:00.001-07:00

the other day my friend (who has asked to be called goblin) and i were messaging back and forth on facebook for a couple hours and had The Greatest Conversation Ever. seriously. it started off as just making plans to hang out and it just morphed into a thing of beauty. i really don't know how to describe it, so i'm posting it up here verbatim (yes, i have goblin's permission to do this).

goblin: woah, you responded to that [message] in like, zero seconds.
alexandra: i have skillz.
goblin: yeah, you're a ninja.
alexandra: my ninja skills just grow day by day. for example, have you noticed that japan did not explode at 9:57 this morning? yeah, that was all me. and i wasn't even awake yet.
goblin: and the penguins are all still dancing and feasting down at the bottom of the world. that's allll you.
alexandra: i am a penguin goddess. they love me and build ice temples in my honor.
goblin: well, obviously you never go visit those temples, since you would at present be a -frozen- penguin goddess statue inside one of them.
alexandra: i visit my penguin ambassadors at the galapagos islands who keep me posted of all north pole penguin activity. i also communicate with north pole penguins via telepathy.
goblin: are you also the goddess of the galapagos tortoises, then? that's the only way i can possibly see them letting you meet among all those darwin-damned finches. or is it neutral ground?
alexandra: although i am not the tortoise goddess, they are very fond of me and act as guards when i am holding council with my penguins. i have told them that i hold no threat to the finches, who regard me as a neutral entity. it took awhile, but i finally have won over the trust of the tortoise high priestess and now we get along fabulously. i was just having tea with the high priestess the other day. we were discussing the possibility of building some sort of temperature-controlled ecohouse where both the galapagos penguins and the arctic penguins could meet with me and have a face-to-face discussion instead of communicating through brain waves, which can be quite headache-inducing, as you can imagine.
goblin: i'm sorry, i can't continue this story line, i laughed too hard for too long because of that last entry, and i can't think of a suitable response. you win.
alexandra: although i am deeply saddened to lose the ear of someone who appreciates my neverending work as Alexandra, Glory of the Arctic, Light of the Island, Shining Star to All Tuxedo Birds, i understand that the introduction of this part of my life that you were previously unaware of can be a bit surprising, even overwhelming. i look forward to conversing with you on this subject at a later date, and would like to inform you in advance that i would be honored if you were to look over a draft of a treaty i am writing for peace between the Arctics and the sea lions. hopefully you can respond post haste, as the Grand PooBah of the sea lions is awaiting my response soon.
goblin: well, as a start for the treaty, i would suggest an alliance based on gathering as a united front against renegade orcas. they're a sheer menace! also, since sea lion mums during mating season usually only eat penguins if they accidentally put themselves in harm's way when the female sea lion hasn't eaten for weeks, perhaps some sort of feeding arrangement could be established. i'm sure once the females of both species settle down with each other in their book clubs, they'll only be too happy to bring each other casseroles when one of them can't go hunt!
alexandra: yes, the orca problem is getting quite out of control. the Greenblatt Treaty of 1987, which required all orcas to register with the United Arctic Animals Committee (UAAC, which I founded in 1473) and therefore were required to follow the laws of the UAAC regarding the treatment of penguins and other arctic animals. unregistered orcas would therefore be unprotected and viewed as hostile entities by the UAAC. this treaty worked well for many years, however, since the founding of the Free Orca Union, many orcas have gone rogue, either withdrawing or flat-out ignoring their registration with the committee. i think that it is high time we did something about these troublemakers, and an alliance with sea lions would be greatly beneficial to the cause. i think that a feeding arrangement is an excellent idea. perhaps the penguin could donate some sort of food bank to the sea lions, who have been suffering from a terrible food shortage, as a show of good will and an alternate feeding suggestion. and a book club mixer would be a splendid idea. the ladies mentioned to me in last month's meeting that they would love to read anna karenina, which is quite perfect as everyone knows that sea lions adore russian literature and are quite fluent in the language. perhaps a program could be started in which sea lions volunteer to teach russian to penguin schoolchildren. nothing wins over an animal's heart quite like a precocious child learning a complex language. think of how adorable it will be to watch the little penguins try to master the accent!
goblin: Also, the just-matured, might-as-well-be-teenage penguins will have to be dealt with accordingly. I believe that in their fervor for first-time mating and living on their own, they will regrettably fail to see the importance of uniting against those fearfully troublesome orcas. Though all penguin parents faithfully register their newborn chicks with the UAAC, as their parents before them, I fear the recent generations have forgotten the significance of the values on which the Committee was founded on. Sea lion adolescents seem to be suffering from the same predicament. The males want only to swim about, gorge, show off, and bark at the ladies, who in turn bask in the attention and preen, while lounging on the beach and gossiping. I propose that a handful of elders from each species be selected for joint instruction of a class in which the principles of the UAAC are discussed, in order to impress upon these rambunctious youngsters the importance under which the species were brought together in the first place.The class would, of course, be held at times conducive to optimal instruction in Russian Literature. But to balance that language class, and to involve the younger generations in the book-loving societies already sought after by the mature and responsible ladies of both species, might I suggest a more fanciful selection of books be provided as well? Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Stephanie Meyer, and the like? Must keep those young minds active and imaginative!

at this point my brain just about shut down and we were both unable to continue the conversation. but as goblin said later on, "who else could you talk to about being a penguin goddess and have the content turn into a serious political discussion about alliance and settlement between arctic creatures?"

and it only costs $9.95

2008-07-17T20:07:00.001-07:00

ladies, too broke to afford vaginal rejuvenation? well, do i have a prize for you! Liquid Virgin Drops!

http://www.shopinprivate.com/liqvirdropyo.html

i mean, really. why wouldn't you want a product that "temporarily tightens the walls of the vagina"? well, for starters, there's the fact that it would fucking hurt. the whole point of the hymen is to break it. instead we've got women paying for virgin drops and lipo for your labia. girls, has anyone ever told you that you had a fat labia? because if they did, clearly they are the one who needs to be fixed, not you.

this product just reinforces one of our culture's strongest beliefs about sex: sex is for men's pleasure, and if women have to suffer discomfort or pain to achieve this goal, then they better keep quiet about it, because it's sure to be worth it in the end. and to top it all off: the design of Liquid Virgin looks like something similar to a hello kitty product. a touch like that just takes the cake.

by the way, here are the ingredients of Virgin Drops: deonized water, aloe vera extract, glycerin, potassium alum, xanthan gum, hydropoyl methylcellulose, polysorbate 20, phenoxyethanol, methylparaben, hydrolyzed collagen, sodium benzoate, DL menthol, calcium chloride, propylparaben, citric acid.

i'm not even going to pretend i know what the hell phenoxyethanol is, but i'm pretty sure i don't want it near my cunt.

but, you know. that's just me.

however, i did love the cow opener

2008-07-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

found this article via shakesville:

it would appear that kevin cullen, columnist at the boston globe, believes himself to be quite the forward-thinking dude. but alas (poor yorrick!) (sorry) he is a fauxgressive. instead of making an articulate argument about same-sex marriage, all we get is misogynistic jokes about how much it sucks to be married to those crazy nagging women and teh gays should know kevin's pain, dammit!

his article starts off with a very strange anecdote about a cow, which i encourage you to read just so you can sit there wondering why exactly this man is talking to me about cows. then he tells us this gem:

"But gay marriage is so yesterday anyways. It's been like, four years and the sun still rises...(i'm cutting this out because he starts talking about sunsets and lou gorman eating lunch and it's even weirder than the cow shit) (also, could someone please tell me who the fuck lou gorman is?) I mean, even the Globe played the Senate story on the City & Region front. Yawn."

okay, first off, when you start quoting hilary duff lyrics, then your academic ass is in trouble in my book. i really hate when adults try to "ironically" use "teen slang" (and yes, i find those annoying quotation marks to be absolutely necessary). i got news for you old folks, nobody actually talks like this. i have never in my life heard a fellow teenager sincerely use the phrase "so yesterday" and if i ever did, that person would be in the minority and mocked to within an inch of his/her life. the days of valley girls are over. we're on to bigger and better things, like snorting oxy. and i'd love to know how exactly cullen finds that gay marriage is so over. correct me if i'm wrong, but i do believe that only two states out of 50 allow gay marriage and only a handful allow civil unions. sounds to me that the problem is far from over. but hey, i get it, kevin. gay marriage is definitely not the trendy cause du jour. i'm not really sure what is these days- africa's over, right? is anyone still talking about africa except angie and bono? help me out, buddy. oh, and i love how he points out that even his newspaper covered the issue. "wow, my newspaper actually did its job and reported an issue! and to think we considered putting the brangelina christwins on the cover".
but kev's moved on already:

"I think it's constitutionally unfair that only heterosexuals are allowed to know what it feels like to get constantly nagged, be told your socks don't match, and find out your wallet has been emptied so your spouse could buy another pair of shoes that will lie unworn in a closet...I thought gay marriage would be something the religious right would try to foist on gay people. You know, gay couples could be as miserable as the rest of us."

gee, someone sounds a leeetle bitter about his wife. but no, he's not talking about his personal life at all, he's talking about "the rest of us"- the normal, miserable straight folks whose spouses nag at them and buy too many shoes (and of course, these examples are in no way misogynistic stereotypes directed towards women. i'm sure kevin is also referring to husbands as well). and i don't know about you guys, but i find it constitutionally unfair that people are being denied the right to be legally bound to their spouse because of their sexual orientation. but maybe i should be complaining about my honey stealing my money for shoes (but wait, i'm a woman...so i guess i should be dedicating my time to a) getting a boyfriend and b)marrying him for shoe money. thanks, kevin cullen! has anyone ever told this guy he should be on dr. phil?)

i'm not really sure how to express myself through words here, so i'm going to use a diagram.

HERE is the point of gay marriage
POINT

HERE's Kevin and his point

KEVIN

you get what i'm trying to say, here?

isn't rape hilarious?!? hahaha, my sides hurt!

2008-07-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

oh-kay! so once again dear johnny boy (uh, that would be mr. john mccain for those of you who do not connect with him on the close, personal level that i do) has given me reason to quote him!
in case you missed this, a "joke" that mccain made in 1986 has resurfaced (it was recorded by reporter norma coile). here it is:

"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, "Where is that marvelous ape?"

classy, classy shit. and sure, some may argue that the joke was made 20 years ago and john's an stand-up chap now. but considering his lovely statement to his wife back in '95 and his anti-women policies today, something tells me that mccain has yet to see the light. what's almost worse is his campaign's response to the joke's resurfacing. this is how spokesperson brian rogers defended the comment:

"You've just got to move on and be yourself — that's what people want. They want somebody who's authentic, and this kind of stuff is a good example of McCain being McCain."

oh! well, that's okay then. i'm glad that the next possible president has such a great sense of humor! and i just know that this joke in no way indicates his clear disrespect for women and his complete lack of understanding of the horror that is rape. hey, maybe tomorrow he can tell a genocide joke! that would be a real knee-slapper.

hey, i've got some advice for john mccain. go find yourself a woman who has been attacked on the street, beaten, raped repeatedly, and left to die. it should be easy to find a woman who has been through this situation, as one in five women will be sexually assaulted or raped during their life. and then i want you to tell that joke to her. and then after you guys have a chat, i want you to look me in the eyes and tell me exactly how fucking funny that joke is.

thought of the day

2008-07-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

i just got done watching the movie 4 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days, a foreign film about two college roommates/best friends who secure a black-market abortion for one of the girls in communist romania. holy shit, this is an intense movie. i mean, not as intense as requiem for a dream (watch that movie. it is the most intense, depressing movie you will ever see, and you must see it. after i watched it with prep and another close friend, i didn't speak for ten minutes, then pulled a blanket over my head and sobbed. and i am still telling you to go see it, so i think that indicates how fucking necessary it is for all human beings to view that movie) but still.
(spoiler warning) there's this one scene at the end, after the abortion has been completed and the non-pregnant best friend has buried the fetus (and yeah, you do see a shot of the fetus on the bathroom floor), where the two girls get some dinner. a waiter comes up to them and puts down a sample plate of dinner. what's on it? beef, liver, veal, and other assortments of meat. and of course he puts in right in front of the girl who has just touched her aborted fetus. i could not even look at it. jesus christ. (/spoiler warning)

i'm not much of a law-breaker. i will admit to the occasional bends, but i'm not going around robbing liquor stores or killing puppies. but if my best friend needed a black-market abortion (or hell, even an abortion in this country as a minor in the midwest), there is no law i wouldn't break to get her one, and god help the motherfucker who stood in my way.

awww to the power of infinity

2008-07-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

Personal questions were strictly forbidden at the Italian premiere of Get Smart on Monday – but that didn't stop one reporter from asking the movie's star, Anne Hathaway, "Was the separation from your ex-boyfriend painful?" The actress's former flame, Raffaello Follieri, remains in prison, awaiting trial on a dozen counts of wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering. And while Hathaway, 25, has continued with her publicity tour, she has steadfastly refused to discuss the split. After the reporter lobbed the question, Hathaway remained silent and attempted a faint smile. But, as if on cue, her costar Steve Carell valiantly stepped in to declare: "In my role of agent [for] Miss Hathaway, I would like to say that she does not answer questions relating to this subject." – Kate Stroup (of People magazine)

that is the most adorable thing in the history of ever. i want steve carell and jon stewart to get married and adopt me. can someone arrange this, please?

...please?

also: i am so glad that i decided to give project runway another chance (seriously, the last season was so fucken boring i could not even finish it. and i HATE that little christian minion. HATE. even before he gave that mind-bogglingly offensive comment about transsexuals) because goddamn there are so many hot girls on this season! they could marry me and make me adorable homemade dresses! such a genius plot.

feeling extra angry today with a fuck-you on top

2008-07-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

I think that we've proven that both parents are important in the success of a family, so, no, I don't believe in gay adoption.
-John McCain

I certainly do not want to discuss that issue.
-John McCain on birth control

It may be a way of killin' em.
-John McCain on a report of rising U.S. cigarettes exports to the Islamic Republic

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran.
-John McCain

Make it 100 [years in Iraq]. That would be fine with me.
-John McCain

It's not social issues I care about.
-John McCain

At least I don't plaster makeup on like a trollop, you cunt.
-John McCain, to his wife

I do not support Roe v. Wade. It should be overturned.
-John McCain

I am all in favor of pay equity for women, but this kind of legislation, as is typical of what's being proposed by my friends on the other side of the aisle, opens us up to lawsuits for all kinds of problems.
-John McCain on why he does not support the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which would have made it possible to sue corporations for wage discrimination

I support the president's policy on sex education.
-John McCain on abstinence-only sex ed

yeah, so does someone want to tell me again how mccain's such a maverick?

and i liked it

2008-07-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

so in a previous entry i mentioned that i was not getting on the katy perry train. however, i listened to her well-known single "i kissed a girl" and realized that it was a very, very catchy tune. in fact, i think i could really love this song if it wasn't for one small thing: the lyrics. now normally, i would be all about a mainstream song about bending the heteronormal lifestyle. but this song just doesn't sit right with me. look at the lyrics. she starts off, she's at a party, she's been drinking, she's curious. okay, this pretty much sounds like most people's idea of bisexuality- drunken girls kissing at parties. but i appreciate the lyrics saying that she's "curious". she's not bisexual, she's just young and experiementing. i'll go with that. and the chorus: yeah, awesome, she kissed a girl and she liked it. okay, awesome! kissing girls is fun. the "i hope my boyfriend don't mind it" sits a bit wrong with me, but okay, i'll let it slide. and obviously i don't mind the "it felt so right" part. i also like that she points out that she's not in love tonight. because really, bicuriousity is a natural thing. teenagers are supposed to mess around! but "it felt so wrong"? mm, not loving that. she's kissing a girl, not a mafia boss. but all of this i think i could pretty much overlook if not for the second verse, where she sings that kissing another girl is "not what the girls do/ not how they should behave". uh, excuse me? what would that make me then? here's where i just can't get with this song: it presents bisexuality/lesbianism as this forbidden secret that either doesn't get acknowledged or it's something that girls just shouldn't do. the whole song has this underlying idea of "i'm doing something so naughty". katy, you're kissing a girl, not experimenting with water sports. just because bisexual/lesbian women are not given a lot of exposure or acknowledgment in mainstream society does not mean that we live in some exotic realm of sexual danger. compare this lyrics to those of jill sobule's song, also entitled "i kissed a girl": http://artists.letssingit.com/jill-sobule-lyrics-i-kissed-a-girl-2m6ld83
i just like these lyrics so much better. it makes kissing a girl for the first time as something fun and sweet and sexy, which is exactly how it is. because i kissed a girl and i fucking loved it, way more than kissing some guy. and i wasn't worrying about what some boyfriend would think about it. the only thing on my mind was, "when can i do that again"?

my new heroine

2008-07-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

here's a quote from allistair penney, an arsonist, a stripper, and an alleged british spy:
"i was in a bad mood. the sky was grey and it started to rain. suddenly i saw a mercedes. it was so old so to cheer myself up i decided to set the tire on fire."

i fucking LOVE this quote. i don't know why i find it so hilariously awesome, but i just do. i laughed for maybe ten minutes after i read it.

but seriously, when i grow up, i want to be a pyromaniac stripper who may or may not be a british spy.

classy

2008-07-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

this article disgusts me:

http://http//www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/07/AR2008070702662_pf.html

seriously, what the fuck? how is this news? because it seems to me like a cross between slut-shaming and a telenova. lara logan is an adult, professional woman. why exactly should she have to defend herself to the papers? take quotes like: "logan, 37, says she and burkett plan to get married eventually." oh! well, thank god they're getting married! i was about to write a letter to child protective services and have that baby taken away the minute it emerged from that harlot's birth canal. i'll put down the pen now. and the comments are even worse. todway wrote: "her putative news career is over. has anyone told her yet? I think she'd be a great co-host on The View, they need someone just as good looking as Mrs. Hasselbeck to offset the other harridans." seriously, motherfucker? she's pregnant without the social sanctity of marriage and now her ass is grass? i'd make some ironic comment about it being 1955 again, but gosh, back in the good old days women couldn't even have news careers! oh, and here's another gem from vltq: "Ms (Mrs?) Logan made a reputation "tramping" around Iraq, and now she is going to be a mother? I call that "having it all, Baby. Makes one wonder how she found time to file her reports." oh. hell. no. i can't even. i don't even know where to start. from the oh-so-sly mrs. title at the start from the closing comment how logan couldn't shut her legs long enough to even think about working. oh, and did someone tell lara that while she thought that she was doing her job in a highly dangerous environment, she was actually being a big ol' tramp and having THE SEX.

i'm in such a bitter mood today.

beatnik hour at my place

2008-07-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

so, i've been pretty much unable to come up with something to blog about. the past two weeks have been...harrowing, to say the least. a summary: people suck, except for the ones that don't. instead of racking my brain for something even slightly intelligent to say, i'm just going to post what i have been creating for the past two weeks: some poetry. oh yes, it is shitty angsty teen poetry time, kidlets. i have written more poems in the past two weeks that i have in my entire life. here, have a few:

a fairy tale

i don't know why, but i do dream of you
well tell me darling, are you seeing me too?
and though i know that this is now thro'
doesn't hi and goodbye just sound so cruel?

well i think and i dream and i wake
i must confess, you're in every breath i take
and you know that my heart is yours to break

tick tock cinderella my clock's counting down
my glass shoes are shattered, i can't find my crown
outside of my dreams you're nowhere to be found
i'd keep on crying but i fear that i'll drown
and i'd call out your name but i can't make a sound

well i'd wait for you forever but i know you'll never come
so i sat down and i remembered-
this is where i started from

corporeal

kaleidoscopic mind with
streaks and waves moving
like traffic lights

learn to see the
color of hope
feel the texture of
despair like
sandpaper
scratching against the skull

sharks in the brain
eating memories like candy
taking away sacred parts
losing puzzle pieces
needing to feel that fit

fireworks behind eyelids
maps on fingerprints
the body is a translation
of texts from long ago

lullaby

if if if
tattooed on my skin
the only map i can draw for you
use me as your canvas
tap out your morse code
the rhythm like a pulse

untitled fragment

i feel
like my insides
are made of icy
stars

sum of her parts

i dream of angels with iron wings
a god with jaws of steel
who bites this world in two
and spits out the mountains like cherry pits

a devil next door with a face of plaster
black roots pulling the house to the ground
evil in a word, a breath, a drop of blood
that rips you from inside out

i dream of blood secrets, a whispering moon
my skin a scroll my eyes a prophet
my bruises a promise my scars a song

the c word

2008-06-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

when we are young, we are taught that there are words we cannot say. hell is only okay in sunday school. words like damn and even crap will get you into trouble. when we get older, we realize that words like fuck are used regularly in our society (but we still should not say them around our parents). we also learn that there are new words that we Really Cannot Say, Ever. one of these words is cunt.

let's start the examination of the word with this: say the word cunt. listen to the hard consonants, the way it feels on your tongue. sounds good, doesn't it? it sounds strong. harsh. it is not a word used without conviction. now say the word vagina. listen to the nasal tones, the whiny edge the letters make when strung together. it is quite possibly one of the least sexy words in the english language. can you imagine saying the word "vagina" to your lover in the heat of the moment? it sounds so clinical and sterile, which is probably not the mood you'd be going for. and finally, the third word in the female genitalia trinity: pussy. i just can't take it seriously. it just sounds ridiculous. the double s fades off into nothing and slips off your tongue like you never said anything. it sounds like a parody of sexuality, like britney spears grinding away with a snake draped around her.

i'm willing to bet that when britney spears talks about her bits, she says pussy. my gynecologist says vagina. i say cunt.

of course, the sound of the word cunt has become irrelevant. it is one of the few taboo words in our society. you don't go throwing the word cunt around. but i am a strong believer in the power of reclaiming words. after all, the word cunt originates from a place of power. in ancient halcyon days, it was a title given to women of power. and there is still great power in this word. many people believe it is the worst word you can say. there are people who live their entire lives without letting this word pass their lips. as someone who has loved words all my life, i do not believe that a word can be inherently good or bad. for example: if some misogynist asshole called me a cunt, i would slap him silly. but to see more women take back this word and make it their own, that would be even more satisfying for me than slapping some guy.

however, not all "taboo" words can be used by everyone. for example, racial slurs. black people have recently began reclaiming the n word (that is the one word that i cannot bear to say). this is a word that only belongs to them, because they are the ones who have been persecuted by others through the use of this word. another example is fag, which is something that many gay men now use (although personally, i don't use this word. i cannot stand the way it sounds, so ugly) or dyke (i love this word as well, and sometimes use it to describe myself. words like dyke and queer seem to have a much broader interpretation of sexual identity than the terms gay and lesbian, which have always seemed a bit restricting for me)

my relationship with the word cunt started off as fairly typical. it was a word that should Never Be Said, Ever. it was the worst thing you could call a woman, and therefore it was a word rooted in evil. this all changed when i walked into a bookstore a bit after my great feminist awakening and wandered over to the women's section. i was looking through the books when i saw the spine of one book in particular. the title of the book was cunt. and my mind said,
woah.
back up a minute,
there is a book called cunt?
in the women's studies section?
what? you can't do that!
there's a flower on the spine!
why is it pretty?
don't these people know that cunt is a Bad Word?(?!?!?)
i pulled out the book and looked down on it. the cover was so simple and so complex. it was a happy looking thing, a calm blue background. there was a picture of a orange flower, petals wide open. and there's that word: cunt. the negativity i associated with this word contrasted violently with the serenity of that cover. i read the back cover. then i read it again. i went back to the bookstore three more times, always just to look at that book. then finally, i worked up the courage to buy it. i looked at the cashier with sureness. yeah, i was buying a book called cunt. i was expanded my horizons, goddammit! you looking at me, punk?

of course, my relationship with the word cunt changed completely after i read inga muscio's enlightening, moving, life-altering book. and "life-altering" is not something a term i throw around. especially not about books. i don't fuck around with my literature. seriously, if you have not read the gospel of inga then get your ass out there and get your hands on the book cunt (and when you're done with that, get her second book autobiography of a blue-eyed devil. it's about racism in america, and i am halfway through it and am unable to put it down. inga muscio is fucking amazing. i would be perfectly content to just sit at her feet and listen to any wisdom she feels like giving while i knit various clothing items). i began to fall in love with the word. i had always tried to find a word that fit me and my bits. i've already mentioned my dislike of vagina and pussy, and let me go on to tell you that i can't stand repressed terms like "down there" that are only used by coy women's magazines. now that i had gained an understanding of the word cunt, i felt like i had found the word i was looking for. if only i could find someone to say it to.

and then: march, this year. a restaurant fifteen minutes from my high school, with amazing pasta. prep and i were having lunch, having a discussion on words we hated. a said, "you know what i can't stand?" she darted her eyes from side to side, leaned forward and mouthed the word cunt. ah. "i hate that word", she said emphatically. and then again: may. prep driving the car, me sitting shotgun. all of a sudden, the word cunt pops up in her sentence. she went onto say, "i love that word!" "so do i!" i said excitedly. i don't know how it happened, but prep had suddenly discovered the power of cunt. the word shows up in our conversations now and then, and every time i say it i feel the same strength inside. and one of my favorite memories of prep: a sleepover at my house, some time after we had discovered our mutual love of the word cunt. a sudden thought strikes my mind, and i rush over to my bookshelf with excitement. "looklooklook!" i tell her, and she does. she looks down and sees the bright blue cover, the orange flower, the title: cunt. her eyes opened with surprise, her mouth broke into an open grin, she was stunned speechless in an almost comical way. but i didn't laugh, because seeing her amazement was like watching a little kid at disney world. if that is not proof of the power of cunt, then i don't know what is.

state of the union

2008-06-22T20:10:00.001-07:00

things that i am fond of right now
-rewatching buffy. i'm still in the beginning of the first season. everyone's clothes are so weird. lots of plaid. lots of miniskirts. lots of sarah michelle looking incredibly young wearing lip gloss and a push-up bra in bed. i'm watching teacher's pet now, with the big-ass bug in it. it's always funny when giant animals show up. like all the snakes! they really wanted to put that snake costume to use, huh? must've been expensive. and there's heavy metal in this episode too! i forgot about that. hahahaa. can't believe i found angel so attractive when i was fourteen. i must've had some sort of iron deficiency that caused that. i find myself now lusting after his leather jacket instead of him.
-woxy and the current. so much good music, go listen now. seriously, i was having some sort of musicgasm when i first was recommended it
-lolcats. the lolcat bible. my cat. garfield without garfield. cats in general.
-my friend prep being inspired to start a blog! http://thepreposterous.blogspot.com go check it out!

things i am not find of right now
-katy perry. i'm sorry, i don't get the appeal. she's a cute girl, though
-fox news. referring to michelle obama, wife to barack and mother to two girls, as "obama's baby mama"? not fucking on.
-a six-foot long black python being found in an australian toilet. thisclose to snakes on a plane, people.
-stephanie klein's new book, moose. loved her first, straight up and dirty. love her blog, greek tragedy (wish i had got that name first). but this one...not so much. her style is still great. but i just can't bring myself to care about fat camp and her being overweight as a child. i get that it sucked for her, but it's just kind of boring. i dunno. it's not horrible, i'm just disappointed. why couldn't she have just picked a more compelling story? she doesn't seem to really go into her feelings deeper than "this really sucks". i would've been happier if she had just published a book of baby pictures. seriously, her twins are so freaking cute.
-and about babies, what the hell is going on with me? all of a sudden i have baby fever. i think up names for my children and coo uncontrollably when i see babies and think about how cool being pregnant would be. what the fuck is this? i don't even like children! i'd be a shitty mom even if i wasn't, you know, sixteen years old. i shouldn't even be thinking about babies. this is really disturbing. i think one of my ovaries exploded and released all this estrogen into my body that's making me consider kidnapping small adorable children. previously mentioned friend a went through this period a year or so ago where she desperately wanted a baby to the point of actually planning to have one right then. so maybe i'm not being completely abnormal. but still, you guys. can ovaries explode? i'm guessing i would feel it if my ovary exploded.

i am not a kitty

2008-06-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

so the other day prep and i were walking down an alleyway. it was bright outside and we were traveling in a pair, so i felt pretty safe. we walk past this guy fixing his car and he looks up and sees us. he calls out, hey ladies how ya doing? i'm a bit startled, as i always am when i get a catcall, so i mutter out, fine. we pick up our speed, walk a little faster. then he meows at us. yes, i am serious. this grown man fucking meowed at us.

now, this story is pretty funny. every now and then prep will meow at me and we'll burst out laughing. but i can't think of this story without thinking of another one:
i was younger, fourteen with skinny spider legs. it was one of the first warm days in a long time. spring was coming, and i was out of school early that day, and was content to just sit on a park bench and sip my drink and read my book. just minding my own business. trying to ignore the shifty looking guy who kept looking at my little kid legs and my new pink miniskirt that i had loved so much on first sight. a strong breeze pulled the skirt back, and i hastily covered up my exposed thighs, my pale moon skin. and this man with his eyes all over me, this man who could have been my father's age, said, "nice thighs, baby". i was fourteen, so much more fragile than i am today. and his words crawled inside me like a cancer. i felt shame. i threw away my drink. i walked away from the bench. i went home. i never wore that skirt again.

why did i feel ashamed that day? that was not my shame to bear. an older creeper made a sexual, completely inappropriate comment to a young girl. it is obvious that he was in the wrong. but that shame, it stuck with me. i still feel it in my gut whenever i come up against a street harraser, an animalistic reaction that seems almost out of my control. by the time it passes, the harasser is long gone and i'm left stewing, with a thousand responses in my brain, all the comebacks i will never say. the logical: i could be your sister. i don't deserve to be talked to that way. the emotional: fuck you. get away from me. but nothing comes out. all silence. and that? pisses me off. to be intimidated into silence for no reason other than i'm a girl. just a girl trying to make her way from point a to b.

i realize that street harassment isn't as monumental a problem as racial genocide or forced sterilization. but you know what? women have enough bullshit to deal with in their lives. why should we have to put up with this? these men who think our bodies are pieces of meat that they can look at and comment on and touch and have for their very own. so we don't let them intimidate us. we do not give them the power to silence us. we don't let them get away with this shit. and here's how: holla back. it's a project that originated in new york city and has now spread to many major cities. women snap pictures of their harassers and post pictures on the holla back blog (the original is at http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/). awesome. check out the site, laugh at the silly pervs and their stunning lack of originality (with the exception of meow man), and next time some idiot on the street tells you that your dress would look so much better on the floor of his bedroom, don't let it ruin your day. snap a picture of the idiot and post it up.

oh, and to the truck driver who called me a puta the other day? fuck you.

blub

2008-06-17T15:48:00.000-07:00

these are pictures of lesbian activists phyllis lyons, 83, and del martin, 87, at their first legal wedding. they were wed last night in san francisco's city hall. they have been partners for 55 years.

this is such an amazing day. and pictures like these make me cry a little (okay, more than a little). congratulations to all the couples who are now able to marry in california. i wish you joy for the rest of your lives together.

the nature of marriage

2008-06-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

so the other day i read something that's been stuck in my mind ever since. an old classmate of mine has a facebook application stating his political beliefs. on the subject of gay marriage, he said that he was for civil unions, but not marriage. he said that "marriage is a privilege, not a right". what i want to know is, what exactly have gay people done to miss out on the "privilege" of marriage. what have straight couples done to be awarded this privilege? other than, of course, be "normal".

i could go on for ages debunking all the shitty arguments against gay marriage. but what about the arguments made by gays themselves? let me explain: i read an article in bitch magazine (loooove) about how some gay right activists argue that gay people don't need to get married. their logic is that marriage is inherently an oppressive institution and that gay people don't need or want to be like straight people. i'm not sure what exactly i think of this. when i first started reading about feminism, i decided that marriage might be for some people, but sure as hell not for me. it seemed terrifying, to throw yourself into a relationship and commit for life and then be faced with a 50% chance of failure. and if you're in the unlucky 50%, then there's a big old scar on your heart that never goes away. but i've never truly bought into the belief that marriage is by definition an oppressive thing. as for gay marriage, i don't believe that making gay marriage legal means that gay people will become conformists. i see it as an issue of legal equality. gay marriage should be legal for those who choose that marriage is right for their relationship. that, for me, is the bottom line.

bonjour

2008-06-15T21:15:00.000-07:00

so. first post.

i should probably start with an introduction, yeah? my name is alexandra. i'm sixteen years old, and i live in a small midwestern town. i have lived in said town all my life and have recently discovered how homogenous and conservative it is. i don't really blend in here. this used to bother me, a lot. it doesn't so much anymore.

i think that i've always been a feminist, even when i was a kid. but it was only fairly recently that i got my "feminist wake-up call" as i think of it. on a whim last fall i picked up a copy of susan faludi's backlash. things just seemed to click after that. i read jessica valenti's full frontal feminism, which was like the gateway drug to feminism. i started reading books, blogs, magazines, getting as much information as possible. i began to develop opinions and then voicing them, louder and louder as my confidence grew. when i became op-ed editor of my school newspaper, i used the space to write about sexism in the election and plan to write a lot more next year.

basically, last year was the year i came out of the closet in most aspects of my life. i came out as bisexual to my family and to an extent, my school, when i started dating my first girlfriend. i started to refer to myself as a liberal and a feminist. although i still struggle to have the courage to show my true self, especially as an extremely shy person, it's so much easier for me to stop hiding and start talking about the things that are important to me.

however, talking to my family proved difficult. my parents took my bisexuality very hard, and would much prefer to stay in denial about it. they also are not fond of hearing of my political beliefs and my "obsession" with feminism, as my mother once put it. friends are difficult as well, as many kids at my school are pretty apathetic about politics. my best friend (who i will be referring to as "prep") is probably the only person who i can talk politics with, although that too is difficult as she's a staunch conservative and we usually end up frustrated and yelling at each other. so i need a place to express my opinions, make my voice heard, and work on my writing, which is something that has been inportant to me all my life. so i decided to throw my hat into the blogosphere. so, here it goes. here's what i have to say. you can like it, you can hate it, but all i ask is that you listen to it. and hopefully some of it will resonate with you.