the nature of marriage

so the other day i read something that's been stuck in my mind ever since. an old classmate of mine has a facebook application stating his political beliefs. on the subject of gay marriage, he said that he was for civil unions, but not marriage. he said that "marriage is a privilege, not a right". what i want to know is, what exactly have gay people done to miss out on the "privilege" of marriage. what have straight couples done to be awarded this privilege? other than, of course, be "normal".

i could go on for ages debunking all the shitty arguments against gay marriage. but what about the arguments made by gays themselves? let me explain: i read an article in bitch magazine (loooove) about how some gay right activists argue that gay people don't need to get married. their logic is that marriage is inherently an oppressive institution and that gay people don't need or want to be like straight people. i'm not sure what exactly i think of this. when i first started reading about feminism, i decided that marriage might be for some people, but sure as hell not for me. it seemed terrifying, to throw yourself into a relationship and commit for life and then be faced with a 50% chance of failure. and if you're in the unlucky 50%, then there's a big old scar on your heart that never goes away. but i've never truly bought into the belief that marriage is by definition an oppressive thing. as for gay marriage, i don't believe that making gay marriage legal means that gay people will become conformists. i see it as an issue of legal equality. gay marriage should be legal for those who choose that marriage is right for their relationship. that, for me, is the bottom line.