"you're a feminist. deal with it." -jessica valenti.
chicklets, i am angrier than usual today.
people have just been saying pretty riddiculous things to me. people who are my friends. usually i can either overlook it. sometimes i'm even able to educate. something i'm pretty proud of was when i got a friend of mine to stop using the word "gay" as a synonym for "stupid". whenever he slips up and catches himself using it, i won't even have to correct him because he'll instantly realize, apologize, and correct himself. i think that's pretty cool. however, that is not what has been going on as of late.
here's one incident that's really been stuck in my mind. the other day, when asked if she was a feminist, a close friend of mine (who i actually assumed to be a feminist. *shrug*) snorted and said she was, and i quote, a huge anti-feminist even though she did support equality of the sexes.
what the fucking fuck?
okay, onto a more eloquent argument. let's start off with the dictionary definition of feminism, according to merriam webster
fem·i·nism
Pronunciation: \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\
Function: noun
Date: 1895
1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests
so if my friend isn't a feminist, then can someone please tell me what the hell is? "i'm not a feminist, i just believe in the core feminist value". how does this make sense?
well, it does if you buy into the stereotype that feminists are ugly, uptight prudes who bitch at everyone, have no sense of humor, and never get laid. oh, and they're often man-hating lesbians.
hey, guess what? i'm a feminist, and i am funny. i am cute. and we're not talking about my personal life, but let me assure you that i have one. so i'm calling bullshit on the stereotypes.
also, let me tell you guys what an anti-feminist is. again, here's the dictionary definition: characterized by ideas or behavior reflecting a disbelief in the economic, political, and social equality of the sexes.
so if you're going to call yourself an anti-feminist, then for the love of god, please realize that you are telling people that you think men and women are not equal. you are not telling people that you like sex.
just...grrr.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
penguin politics
the other day my friend (who has asked to be called goblin) and i were messaging back and forth on facebook for a couple hours and had The Greatest Conversation Ever. seriously. it started off as just making plans to hang out and it just morphed into a thing of beauty. i really don't know how to describe it, so i'm posting it up here verbatim (yes, i have goblin's permission to do this).
goblin: woah, you responded to that [message] in like, zero seconds.
alexandra: i have skillz.
goblin: yeah, you're a ninja.
alexandra: my ninja skills just grow day by day. for example, have you noticed that japan did not explode at 9:57 this morning? yeah, that was all me. and i wasn't even awake yet.
goblin: and the penguins are all still dancing and feasting down at the bottom of the world. that's allll you.
alexandra: i am a penguin goddess. they love me and build ice temples in my honor.
goblin: well, obviously you never go visit those temples, since you would at present be a -frozen- penguin goddess statue inside one of them.
alexandra: i visit my penguin ambassadors at the galapagos islands who keep me posted of all north pole penguin activity. i also communicate with north pole penguins via telepathy.
goblin: are you also the goddess of the galapagos tortoises, then? that's the only way i can possibly see them letting you meet among all those darwin-damned finches. or is it neutral ground?
alexandra: although i am not the tortoise goddess, they are very fond of me and act as guards when i am holding council with my penguins. i have told them that i hold no threat to the finches, who regard me as a neutral entity. it took awhile, but i finally have won over the trust of the tortoise high priestess and now we get along fabulously. i was just having tea with the high priestess the other day. we were discussing the possibility of building some sort of temperature-controlled ecohouse where both the galapagos penguins and the arctic penguins could meet with me and have a face-to-face discussion instead of communicating through brain waves, which can be quite headache-inducing, as you can imagine.
goblin: i'm sorry, i can't continue this story line, i laughed too hard for too long because of that last entry, and i can't think of a suitable response. you win.
alexandra: although i am deeply saddened to lose the ear of someone who appreciates my neverending work as Alexandra, Glory of the Arctic, Light of the Island, Shining Star to All Tuxedo Birds, i understand that the introduction of this part of my life that you were previously unaware of can be a bit surprising, even overwhelming. i look forward to conversing with you on this subject at a later date, and would like to inform you in advance that i would be honored if you were to look over a draft of a treaty i am writing for peace between the Arctics and the sea lions. hopefully you can respond post haste, as the Grand PooBah of the sea lions is awaiting my response soon.
goblin: well, as a start for the treaty, i would suggest an alliance based on gathering as a united front against renegade orcas. they're a sheer menace! also, since sea lion mums during mating season usually only eat penguins if they accidentally put themselves in harm's way when the female sea lion hasn't eaten for weeks, perhaps some sort of feeding arrangement could be established. i'm sure once the females of both species settle down with each other in their book clubs, they'll only be too happy to bring each other casseroles when one of them can't go hunt!
alexandra: yes, the orca problem is getting quite out of control. the Greenblatt Treaty of 1987, which required all orcas to register with the United Arctic Animals Committee (UAAC, which I founded in 1473) and therefore were required to follow the laws of the UAAC regarding the treatment of penguins and other arctic animals. unregistered orcas would therefore be unprotected and viewed as hostile entities by the UAAC. this treaty worked well for many years, however, since the founding of the Free Orca Union, many orcas have gone rogue, either withdrawing or flat-out ignoring their registration with the committee. i think that it is high time we did something about these troublemakers, and an alliance with sea lions would be greatly beneficial to the cause. i think that a feeding arrangement is an excellent idea. perhaps the penguin could donate some sort of food bank to the sea lions, who have been suffering from a terrible food shortage, as a show of good will and an alternate feeding suggestion. and a book club mixer would be a splendid idea. the ladies mentioned to me in last month's meeting that they would love to read anna karenina, which is quite perfect as everyone knows that sea lions adore russian literature and are quite fluent in the language. perhaps a program could be started in which sea lions volunteer to teach russian to penguin schoolchildren. nothing wins over an animal's heart quite like a precocious child learning a complex language. think of how adorable it will be to watch the little penguins try to master the accent!
goblin: Also, the just-matured, might-as-well-be-teenage penguins will have to be dealt with accordingly. I believe that in their fervor for first-time mating and living on their own, they will regrettably fail to see the importance of uniting against those fearfully troublesome orcas. Though all penguin parents faithfully register their newborn chicks with the UAAC, as their parents before them, I fear the recent generations have forgotten the significance of the values on which the Committee was founded on. Sea lion adolescents seem to be suffering from the same predicament. The males want only to swim about, gorge, show off, and bark at the ladies, who in turn bask in the attention and preen, while lounging on the beach and gossiping. I propose that a handful of elders from each species be selected for joint instruction of a class in which the principles of the UAAC are discussed, in order to impress upon these rambunctious youngsters the importance under which the species were brought together in the first place.The class would, of course, be held at times conducive to optimal instruction in Russian Literature. But to balance that language class, and to involve the younger generations in the book-loving societies already sought after by the mature and responsible ladies of both species, might I suggest a more fanciful selection of books be provided as well? Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Stephanie Meyer, and the like? Must keep those young minds active and imaginative!
at this point my brain just about shut down and we were both unable to continue the conversation. but as goblin said later on, "who else could you talk to about being a penguin goddess and have the content turn into a serious political discussion about alliance and settlement between arctic creatures?"
goblin: woah, you responded to that [message] in like, zero seconds.
alexandra: i have skillz.
goblin: yeah, you're a ninja.
alexandra: my ninja skills just grow day by day. for example, have you noticed that japan did not explode at 9:57 this morning? yeah, that was all me. and i wasn't even awake yet.
goblin: and the penguins are all still dancing and feasting down at the bottom of the world. that's allll you.
alexandra: i am a penguin goddess. they love me and build ice temples in my honor.
goblin: well, obviously you never go visit those temples, since you would at present be a -frozen- penguin goddess statue inside one of them.
alexandra: i visit my penguin ambassadors at the galapagos islands who keep me posted of all north pole penguin activity. i also communicate with north pole penguins via telepathy.
goblin: are you also the goddess of the galapagos tortoises, then? that's the only way i can possibly see them letting you meet among all those darwin-damned finches. or is it neutral ground?
alexandra: although i am not the tortoise goddess, they are very fond of me and act as guards when i am holding council with my penguins. i have told them that i hold no threat to the finches, who regard me as a neutral entity. it took awhile, but i finally have won over the trust of the tortoise high priestess and now we get along fabulously. i was just having tea with the high priestess the other day. we were discussing the possibility of building some sort of temperature-controlled ecohouse where both the galapagos penguins and the arctic penguins could meet with me and have a face-to-face discussion instead of communicating through brain waves, which can be quite headache-inducing, as you can imagine.
goblin: i'm sorry, i can't continue this story line, i laughed too hard for too long because of that last entry, and i can't think of a suitable response. you win.
alexandra: although i am deeply saddened to lose the ear of someone who appreciates my neverending work as Alexandra, Glory of the Arctic, Light of the Island, Shining Star to All Tuxedo Birds, i understand that the introduction of this part of my life that you were previously unaware of can be a bit surprising, even overwhelming. i look forward to conversing with you on this subject at a later date, and would like to inform you in advance that i would be honored if you were to look over a draft of a treaty i am writing for peace between the Arctics and the sea lions. hopefully you can respond post haste, as the Grand PooBah of the sea lions is awaiting my response soon.
goblin: well, as a start for the treaty, i would suggest an alliance based on gathering as a united front against renegade orcas. they're a sheer menace! also, since sea lion mums during mating season usually only eat penguins if they accidentally put themselves in harm's way when the female sea lion hasn't eaten for weeks, perhaps some sort of feeding arrangement could be established. i'm sure once the females of both species settle down with each other in their book clubs, they'll only be too happy to bring each other casseroles when one of them can't go hunt!
alexandra: yes, the orca problem is getting quite out of control. the Greenblatt Treaty of 1987, which required all orcas to register with the United Arctic Animals Committee (UAAC, which I founded in 1473) and therefore were required to follow the laws of the UAAC regarding the treatment of penguins and other arctic animals. unregistered orcas would therefore be unprotected and viewed as hostile entities by the UAAC. this treaty worked well for many years, however, since the founding of the Free Orca Union, many orcas have gone rogue, either withdrawing or flat-out ignoring their registration with the committee. i think that it is high time we did something about these troublemakers, and an alliance with sea lions would be greatly beneficial to the cause. i think that a feeding arrangement is an excellent idea. perhaps the penguin could donate some sort of food bank to the sea lions, who have been suffering from a terrible food shortage, as a show of good will and an alternate feeding suggestion. and a book club mixer would be a splendid idea. the ladies mentioned to me in last month's meeting that they would love to read anna karenina, which is quite perfect as everyone knows that sea lions adore russian literature and are quite fluent in the language. perhaps a program could be started in which sea lions volunteer to teach russian to penguin schoolchildren. nothing wins over an animal's heart quite like a precocious child learning a complex language. think of how adorable it will be to watch the little penguins try to master the accent!
goblin: Also, the just-matured, might-as-well-be-teenage penguins will have to be dealt with accordingly. I believe that in their fervor for first-time mating and living on their own, they will regrettably fail to see the importance of uniting against those fearfully troublesome orcas. Though all penguin parents faithfully register their newborn chicks with the UAAC, as their parents before them, I fear the recent generations have forgotten the significance of the values on which the Committee was founded on. Sea lion adolescents seem to be suffering from the same predicament. The males want only to swim about, gorge, show off, and bark at the ladies, who in turn bask in the attention and preen, while lounging on the beach and gossiping. I propose that a handful of elders from each species be selected for joint instruction of a class in which the principles of the UAAC are discussed, in order to impress upon these rambunctious youngsters the importance under which the species were brought together in the first place.The class would, of course, be held at times conducive to optimal instruction in Russian Literature. But to balance that language class, and to involve the younger generations in the book-loving societies already sought after by the mature and responsible ladies of both species, might I suggest a more fanciful selection of books be provided as well? Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Stephanie Meyer, and the like? Must keep those young minds active and imaginative!
at this point my brain just about shut down and we were both unable to continue the conversation. but as goblin said later on, "who else could you talk to about being a penguin goddess and have the content turn into a serious political discussion about alliance and settlement between arctic creatures?"
Thursday, July 17, 2008
and it only costs $9.95
ladies, too broke to afford vaginal rejuvenation? well, do i have a prize for you! Liquid Virgin Drops!
http://www.shopinprivate.com/liqvirdropyo.html
i mean, really. why wouldn't you want a product that "temporarily tightens the walls of the vagina"? well, for starters, there's the fact that it would fucking hurt. the whole point of the hymen is to break it. instead we've got women paying for virgin drops and lipo for your labia. girls, has anyone ever told you that you had a fat labia? because if they did, clearly they are the one who needs to be fixed, not you.
this product just reinforces one of our culture's strongest beliefs about sex: sex is for men's pleasure, and if women have to suffer discomfort or pain to achieve this goal, then they better keep quiet about it, because it's sure to be worth it in the end. and to top it all off: the design of Liquid Virgin looks like something similar to a hello kitty product. a touch like that just takes the cake.
by the way, here are the ingredients of Virgin Drops: deonized water, aloe vera extract, glycerin, potassium alum, xanthan gum, hydropoyl methylcellulose, polysorbate 20, phenoxyethanol, methylparaben, hydrolyzed collagen, sodium benzoate, DL menthol, calcium chloride, propylparaben, citric acid.
i'm not even going to pretend i know what the hell phenoxyethanol is, but i'm pretty sure i don't want it near my cunt.
but, you know. that's just me.
http://www.shopinprivate.com/liqvirdropyo.html
i mean, really. why wouldn't you want a product that "temporarily tightens the walls of the vagina"? well, for starters, there's the fact that it would fucking hurt. the whole point of the hymen is to break it. instead we've got women paying for virgin drops and lipo for your labia. girls, has anyone ever told you that you had a fat labia? because if they did, clearly they are the one who needs to be fixed, not you.
this product just reinforces one of our culture's strongest beliefs about sex: sex is for men's pleasure, and if women have to suffer discomfort or pain to achieve this goal, then they better keep quiet about it, because it's sure to be worth it in the end. and to top it all off: the design of Liquid Virgin looks like something similar to a hello kitty product. a touch like that just takes the cake.
by the way, here are the ingredients of Virgin Drops: deonized water, aloe vera extract, glycerin, potassium alum, xanthan gum, hydropoyl methylcellulose, polysorbate 20, phenoxyethanol, methylparaben, hydrolyzed collagen, sodium benzoate, DL menthol, calcium chloride, propylparaben, citric acid.
i'm not even going to pretend i know what the hell phenoxyethanol is, but i'm pretty sure i don't want it near my cunt.
but, you know. that's just me.
however, i did love the cow opener
found this article via shakesville:
it would appear that kevin cullen, columnist at the boston globe, believes himself to be quite the forward-thinking dude. but alas (poor yorrick!) (sorry) he is a fauxgressive. instead of making an articulate argument about same-sex marriage, all we get is misogynistic jokes about how much it sucks to be married to those crazy nagging women and teh gays should know kevin's pain, dammit!
his article starts off with a very strange anecdote about a cow, which i encourage you to read just so you can sit there wondering why exactly this man is talking to me about cows. then he tells us this gem:
"But gay marriage is so yesterday anyways. It's been like, four years and the sun still rises...(i'm cutting this out because he starts talking about sunsets and lou gorman eating lunch and it's even weirder than the cow shit) (also, could someone please tell me who the fuck lou gorman is?) I mean, even the Globe played the Senate story on the City & Region front. Yawn."
okay, first off, when you start quoting hilary duff lyrics, then your academic ass is in trouble in my book. i really hate when adults try to "ironically" use "teen slang" (and yes, i find those annoying quotation marks to be absolutely necessary). i got news for you old folks, nobody actually talks like this. i have never in my life heard a fellow teenager sincerely use the phrase "so yesterday" and if i ever did, that person would be in the minority and mocked to within an inch of his/her life. the days of valley girls are over. we're on to bigger and better things, like snorting oxy. and i'd love to know how exactly cullen finds that gay marriage is so over. correct me if i'm wrong, but i do believe that only two states out of 50 allow gay marriage and only a handful allow civil unions. sounds to me that the problem is far from over. but hey, i get it, kevin. gay marriage is definitely not the trendy cause du jour. i'm not really sure what is these days- africa's over, right? is anyone still talking about africa except angie and bono? help me out, buddy. oh, and i love how he points out that even his newspaper covered the issue. "wow, my newspaper actually did its job and reported an issue! and to think we considered putting the brangelina christwins on the cover".
but kev's moved on already:
"I think it's constitutionally unfair that only heterosexuals are allowed to know what it feels like to get constantly nagged, be told your socks don't match, and find out your wallet has been emptied so your spouse could buy another pair of shoes that will lie unworn in a closet...I thought gay marriage would be something the religious right would try to foist on gay people. You know, gay couples could be as miserable as the rest of us."
gee, someone sounds a leeetle bitter about his wife. but no, he's not talking about his personal life at all, he's talking about "the rest of us"- the normal, miserable straight folks whose spouses nag at them and buy too many shoes (and of course, these examples are in no way misogynistic stereotypes directed towards women. i'm sure kevin is also referring to husbands as well). and i don't know about you guys, but i find it constitutionally unfair that people are being denied the right to be legally bound to their spouse because of their sexual orientation. but maybe i should be complaining about my honey stealing my money for shoes (but wait, i'm a woman...so i guess i should be dedicating my time to a) getting a boyfriend and b)marrying him for shoe money. thanks, kevin cullen! has anyone ever told this guy he should be on dr. phil?)
i'm not really sure how to express myself through words here, so i'm going to use a diagram.
HERE is the point of gay marriage
POINT
it would appear that kevin cullen, columnist at the boston globe, believes himself to be quite the forward-thinking dude. but alas (poor yorrick!) (sorry) he is a fauxgressive. instead of making an articulate argument about same-sex marriage, all we get is misogynistic jokes about how much it sucks to be married to those crazy nagging women and teh gays should know kevin's pain, dammit!
his article starts off with a very strange anecdote about a cow, which i encourage you to read just so you can sit there wondering why exactly this man is talking to me about cows. then he tells us this gem:
"But gay marriage is so yesterday anyways. It's been like, four years and the sun still rises...(i'm cutting this out because he starts talking about sunsets and lou gorman eating lunch and it's even weirder than the cow shit) (also, could someone please tell me who the fuck lou gorman is?) I mean, even the Globe played the Senate story on the City & Region front. Yawn."
okay, first off, when you start quoting hilary duff lyrics, then your academic ass is in trouble in my book. i really hate when adults try to "ironically" use "teen slang" (and yes, i find those annoying quotation marks to be absolutely necessary). i got news for you old folks, nobody actually talks like this. i have never in my life heard a fellow teenager sincerely use the phrase "so yesterday" and if i ever did, that person would be in the minority and mocked to within an inch of his/her life. the days of valley girls are over. we're on to bigger and better things, like snorting oxy. and i'd love to know how exactly cullen finds that gay marriage is so over. correct me if i'm wrong, but i do believe that only two states out of 50 allow gay marriage and only a handful allow civil unions. sounds to me that the problem is far from over. but hey, i get it, kevin. gay marriage is definitely not the trendy cause du jour. i'm not really sure what is these days- africa's over, right? is anyone still talking about africa except angie and bono? help me out, buddy. oh, and i love how he points out that even his newspaper covered the issue. "wow, my newspaper actually did its job and reported an issue! and to think we considered putting the brangelina christwins on the cover".
but kev's moved on already:
"I think it's constitutionally unfair that only heterosexuals are allowed to know what it feels like to get constantly nagged, be told your socks don't match, and find out your wallet has been emptied so your spouse could buy another pair of shoes that will lie unworn in a closet...I thought gay marriage would be something the religious right would try to foist on gay people. You know, gay couples could be as miserable as the rest of us."
gee, someone sounds a leeetle bitter about his wife. but no, he's not talking about his personal life at all, he's talking about "the rest of us"- the normal, miserable straight folks whose spouses nag at them and buy too many shoes (and of course, these examples are in no way misogynistic stereotypes directed towards women. i'm sure kevin is also referring to husbands as well). and i don't know about you guys, but i find it constitutionally unfair that people are being denied the right to be legally bound to their spouse because of their sexual orientation. but maybe i should be complaining about my honey stealing my money for shoes (but wait, i'm a woman...so i guess i should be dedicating my time to a) getting a boyfriend and b)marrying him for shoe money. thanks, kevin cullen! has anyone ever told this guy he should be on dr. phil?)
i'm not really sure how to express myself through words here, so i'm going to use a diagram.
HERE is the point of gay marriage
POINT
HERE's Kevin and his point
KEVIN
you get what i'm trying to say, here?
isn't rape hilarious?!? hahaha, my sides hurt!
oh-kay! so once again dear johnny boy (uh, that would be mr. john mccain for those of you who do not connect with him on the close, personal level that i do) has given me reason to quote him!
in case you missed this, a "joke" that mccain made in 1986 has resurfaced (it was recorded by reporter norma coile). here it is:
"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, "Where is that marvelous ape?"
classy, classy shit. and sure, some may argue that the joke was made 20 years ago and john's an stand-up chap now. but considering his lovely statement to his wife back in '95 and his anti-women policies today, something tells me that mccain has yet to see the light. what's almost worse is his campaign's response to the joke's resurfacing. this is how spokesperson brian rogers defended the comment:
"You've just got to move on and be yourself — that's what people want. They want somebody who's authentic, and this kind of stuff is a good example of McCain being McCain."
oh! well, that's okay then. i'm glad that the next possible president has such a great sense of humor! and i just know that this joke in no way indicates his clear disrespect for women and his complete lack of understanding of the horror that is rape. hey, maybe tomorrow he can tell a genocide joke! that would be a real knee-slapper.
hey, i've got some advice for john mccain. go find yourself a woman who has been attacked on the street, beaten, raped repeatedly, and left to die. it should be easy to find a woman who has been through this situation, as one in five women will be sexually assaulted or raped during their life. and then i want you to tell that joke to her. and then after you guys have a chat, i want you to look me in the eyes and tell me exactly how fucking funny that joke is.
in case you missed this, a "joke" that mccain made in 1986 has resurfaced (it was recorded by reporter norma coile). here it is:
"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, "Where is that marvelous ape?"
classy, classy shit. and sure, some may argue that the joke was made 20 years ago and john's an stand-up chap now. but considering his lovely statement to his wife back in '95 and his anti-women policies today, something tells me that mccain has yet to see the light. what's almost worse is his campaign's response to the joke's resurfacing. this is how spokesperson brian rogers defended the comment:
"You've just got to move on and be yourself — that's what people want. They want somebody who's authentic, and this kind of stuff is a good example of McCain being McCain."
oh! well, that's okay then. i'm glad that the next possible president has such a great sense of humor! and i just know that this joke in no way indicates his clear disrespect for women and his complete lack of understanding of the horror that is rape. hey, maybe tomorrow he can tell a genocide joke! that would be a real knee-slapper.
hey, i've got some advice for john mccain. go find yourself a woman who has been attacked on the street, beaten, raped repeatedly, and left to die. it should be easy to find a woman who has been through this situation, as one in five women will be sexually assaulted or raped during their life. and then i want you to tell that joke to her. and then after you guys have a chat, i want you to look me in the eyes and tell me exactly how fucking funny that joke is.
thought of the day
i just got done watching the movie 4 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days, a foreign film about two college roommates/best friends who secure a black-market abortion for one of the girls in communist romania. holy shit, this is an intense movie. i mean, not as intense as requiem for a dream (watch that movie. it is the most intense, depressing movie you will ever see, and you must see it. after i watched it with prep and another close friend, i didn't speak for ten minutes, then pulled a blanket over my head and sobbed. and i am still telling you to go see it, so i think that indicates how fucking necessary it is for all human beings to view that movie) but still.
(spoiler warning) there's this one scene at the end, after the abortion has been completed and the non-pregnant best friend has buried the fetus (and yeah, you do see a shot of the fetus on the bathroom floor), where the two girls get some dinner. a waiter comes up to them and puts down a sample plate of dinner. what's on it? beef, liver, veal, and other assortments of meat. and of course he puts in right in front of the girl who has just touched her aborted fetus. i could not even look at it. jesus christ. (/spoiler warning)
i'm not much of a law-breaker. i will admit to the occasional bends, but i'm not going around robbing liquor stores or killing puppies. but if my best friend needed a black-market abortion (or hell, even an abortion in this country as a minor in the midwest), there is no law i wouldn't break to get her one, and god help the motherfucker who stood in my way.
(spoiler warning) there's this one scene at the end, after the abortion has been completed and the non-pregnant best friend has buried the fetus (and yeah, you do see a shot of the fetus on the bathroom floor), where the two girls get some dinner. a waiter comes up to them and puts down a sample plate of dinner. what's on it? beef, liver, veal, and other assortments of meat. and of course he puts in right in front of the girl who has just touched her aborted fetus. i could not even look at it. jesus christ. (/spoiler warning)
i'm not much of a law-breaker. i will admit to the occasional bends, but i'm not going around robbing liquor stores or killing puppies. but if my best friend needed a black-market abortion (or hell, even an abortion in this country as a minor in the midwest), there is no law i wouldn't break to get her one, and god help the motherfucker who stood in my way.
awww to the power of infinity
Personal questions were strictly forbidden at the Italian premiere of Get Smart on Monday – but that didn't stop one reporter from asking the movie's star, Anne Hathaway, "Was the separation from your ex-boyfriend painful?" The actress's former flame, Raffaello Follieri, remains in prison, awaiting trial on a dozen counts of wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering. And while Hathaway, 25, has continued with her publicity tour, she has steadfastly refused to discuss the split. After the reporter lobbed the question, Hathaway remained silent and attempted a faint smile. But, as if on cue, her costar Steve Carell valiantly stepped in to declare: "In my role of agent [for] Miss Hathaway, I would like to say that she does not answer questions relating to this subject." – Kate Stroup (of People magazine)
that is the most adorable thing in the history of ever. i want steve carell and jon stewart to get married and adopt me. can someone arrange this, please?
...please?
also: i am so glad that i decided to give project runway another chance (seriously, the last season was so fucken boring i could not even finish it. and i HATE that little christian minion. HATE. even before he gave that mind-bogglingly offensive comment about transsexuals) because goddamn there are so many hot girls on this season! they could marry me and make me adorable homemade dresses! such a genius plot.
that is the most adorable thing in the history of ever. i want steve carell and jon stewart to get married and adopt me. can someone arrange this, please?
...please?
also: i am so glad that i decided to give project runway another chance (seriously, the last season was so fucken boring i could not even finish it. and i HATE that little christian minion. HATE. even before he gave that mind-bogglingly offensive comment about transsexuals) because goddamn there are so many hot girls on this season! they could marry me and make me adorable homemade dresses! such a genius plot.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
feeling extra angry today with a fuck-you on top
I think that we've proven that both parents are important in the success of a family, so, no, I don't believe in gay adoption.
-John McCain
I certainly do not want to discuss that issue.
-John McCain on birth control
It may be a way of killin' em.
-John McCain on a report of rising U.S. cigarettes exports to the Islamic Republic
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran.
-John McCain
Make it 100 [years in Iraq]. That would be fine with me.
-John McCain
It's not social issues I care about.
-John McCain
At least I don't plaster makeup on like a trollop, you cunt.
-John McCain, to his wife
I do not support Roe v. Wade. It should be overturned.
-John McCain
I am all in favor of pay equity for women, but this kind of legislation, as is typical of what's being proposed by my friends on the other side of the aisle, opens us up to lawsuits for all kinds of problems.
-John McCain on why he does not support the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which would have made it possible to sue corporations for wage discrimination
I support the president's policy on sex education.
-John McCain on abstinence-only sex ed
yeah, so does someone want to tell me again how mccain's such a maverick?
-John McCain
I certainly do not want to discuss that issue.
-John McCain on birth control
It may be a way of killin' em.
-John McCain on a report of rising U.S. cigarettes exports to the Islamic Republic
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran.
-John McCain
Make it 100 [years in Iraq]. That would be fine with me.
-John McCain
It's not social issues I care about.
-John McCain
At least I don't plaster makeup on like a trollop, you cunt.
-John McCain, to his wife
I do not support Roe v. Wade. It should be overturned.
-John McCain
I am all in favor of pay equity for women, but this kind of legislation, as is typical of what's being proposed by my friends on the other side of the aisle, opens us up to lawsuits for all kinds of problems.
-John McCain on why he does not support the Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which would have made it possible to sue corporations for wage discrimination
I support the president's policy on sex education.
-John McCain on abstinence-only sex ed
yeah, so does someone want to tell me again how mccain's such a maverick?
Saturday, July 12, 2008
and i liked it
so in a previous entry i mentioned that i was not getting on the katy perry train. however, i listened to her well-known single "i kissed a girl" and realized that it was a very, very catchy tune. in fact, i think i could really love this song if it wasn't for one small thing: the lyrics. now normally, i would be all about a mainstream song about bending the heteronormal lifestyle. but this song just doesn't sit right with me. look at the lyrics. she starts off, she's at a party, she's been drinking, she's curious. okay, this pretty much sounds like most people's idea of bisexuality- drunken girls kissing at parties. but i appreciate the lyrics saying that she's "curious". she's not bisexual, she's just young and experiementing. i'll go with that. and the chorus: yeah, awesome, she kissed a girl and she liked it. okay, awesome! kissing girls is fun. the "i hope my boyfriend don't mind it" sits a bit wrong with me, but okay, i'll let it slide. and obviously i don't mind the "it felt so right" part. i also like that she points out that she's not in love tonight. because really, bicuriousity is a natural thing. teenagers are supposed to mess around! but "it felt so wrong"? mm, not loving that. she's kissing a girl, not a mafia boss. but all of this i think i could pretty much overlook if not for the second verse, where she sings that kissing another girl is "not what the girls do/ not how they should behave". uh, excuse me? what would that make me then? here's where i just can't get with this song: it presents bisexuality/lesbianism as this forbidden secret that either doesn't get acknowledged or it's something that girls just shouldn't do. the whole song has this underlying idea of "i'm doing something so naughty". katy, you're kissing a girl, not experimenting with water sports. just because bisexual/lesbian women are not given a lot of exposure or acknowledgment in mainstream society does not mean that we live in some exotic realm of sexual danger. compare this lyrics to those of jill sobule's song, also entitled "i kissed a girl": http://artists.letssingit.com/jill-sobule-lyrics-i-kissed-a-girl-2m6ld83
i just like these lyrics so much better. it makes kissing a girl for the first time as something fun and sweet and sexy, which is exactly how it is. because i kissed a girl and i fucking loved it, way more than kissing some guy. and i wasn't worrying about what some boyfriend would think about it. the only thing on my mind was, "when can i do that again"?
i just like these lyrics so much better. it makes kissing a girl for the first time as something fun and sweet and sexy, which is exactly how it is. because i kissed a girl and i fucking loved it, way more than kissing some guy. and i wasn't worrying about what some boyfriend would think about it. the only thing on my mind was, "when can i do that again"?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
my new heroine
here's a quote from allistair penney, an arsonist, a stripper, and an alleged british spy:
"i was in a bad mood. the sky was grey and it started to rain. suddenly i saw a mercedes. it was so old so to cheer myself up i decided to set the tire on fire."
i fucking LOVE this quote. i don't know why i find it so hilariously awesome, but i just do. i laughed for maybe ten minutes after i read it.
but seriously, when i grow up, i want to be a pyromaniac stripper who may or may not be a british spy.
"i was in a bad mood. the sky was grey and it started to rain. suddenly i saw a mercedes. it was so old so to cheer myself up i decided to set the tire on fire."
i fucking LOVE this quote. i don't know why i find it so hilariously awesome, but i just do. i laughed for maybe ten minutes after i read it.
but seriously, when i grow up, i want to be a pyromaniac stripper who may or may not be a british spy.
classy
this article disgusts me:
seriously, what the fuck? how is this news? because it seems to me like a cross between slut-shaming and a telenova. lara logan is an adult, professional woman. why exactly should she have to defend herself to the papers? take quotes like: "logan, 37, says she and burkett plan to get married eventually." oh! well, thank god they're getting married! i was about to write a letter to child protective services and have that baby taken away the minute it emerged from that harlot's birth canal. i'll put down the pen now. and the comments are even worse. todway wrote: "her putative news career is over. has anyone told her yet? I think she'd be a great co-host on The View, they need someone just as good looking as Mrs. Hasselbeck to offset the other harridans." seriously, motherfucker? she's pregnant without the social sanctity of marriage and now her ass is grass? i'd make some ironic comment about it being 1955 again, but gosh, back in the good old days women couldn't even have news careers! oh, and here's another gem from vltq: "Ms (Mrs?) Logan made a reputation "tramping" around Iraq, and now she is going to be a mother? I call that "having it all, Baby. Makes one wonder how she found time to file her reports." oh. hell. no. i can't even. i don't even know where to start. from the oh-so-sly mrs. title at the start from the closing comment how logan couldn't shut her legs long enough to even think about working. oh, and did someone tell lara that while she thought that she was doing her job in a highly dangerous environment, she was actually being a big ol' tramp and having THE SEX.
i'm in such a bitter mood today.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
beatnik hour at my place
so, i've been pretty much unable to come up with something to blog about. the past two weeks have been...harrowing, to say the least. a summary: people suck, except for the ones that don't. instead of racking my brain for something even slightly intelligent to say, i'm just going to post what i have been creating for the past two weeks: some poetry. oh yes, it is shitty angsty teen poetry time, kidlets. i have written more poems in the past two weeks that i have in my entire life. here, have a few:
a fairy tale
i don't know why, but i do dream of you
well tell me darling, are you seeing me too?
and though i know that this is now thro'
doesn't hi and goodbye just sound so cruel?
well i think and i dream and i wake
i must confess, you're in every breath i take
and you know that my heart is yours to break
tick tock cinderella my clock's counting down
my glass shoes are shattered, i can't find my crown
outside of my dreams you're nowhere to be found
i'd keep on crying but i fear that i'll drown
and i'd call out your name but i can't make a sound
well i'd wait for you forever but i know you'll never come
so i sat down and i remembered-
this is where i started from
corporeal
kaleidoscopic mind with
streaks and waves moving
like traffic lights
learn to see the
color of hope
feel the texture of
despair like
sandpaper
scratching against the skull
sharks in the brain
eating memories like candy
taking away sacred parts
losing puzzle pieces
needing to feel that fit
fireworks behind eyelids
maps on fingerprints
the body is a translation
of texts from long ago
lullaby
if if if
tattooed on my skin
the only map i can draw for you
use me as your canvas
tap out your morse code
the rhythm like a pulse
untitled fragment
i feel
like my insides
are made of icy
stars
sum of her parts
i dream of angels with iron wings
a god with jaws of steel
who bites this world in two
and spits out the mountains like cherry pits
a devil next door with a face of plaster
black roots pulling the house to the ground
evil in a word, a breath, a drop of blood
that rips you from inside out
i dream of blood secrets, a whispering moon
my skin a scroll my eyes a prophet
my bruises a promise my scars a song
a fairy tale
i don't know why, but i do dream of you
well tell me darling, are you seeing me too?
and though i know that this is now thro'
doesn't hi and goodbye just sound so cruel?
well i think and i dream and i wake
i must confess, you're in every breath i take
and you know that my heart is yours to break
tick tock cinderella my clock's counting down
my glass shoes are shattered, i can't find my crown
outside of my dreams you're nowhere to be found
i'd keep on crying but i fear that i'll drown
and i'd call out your name but i can't make a sound
well i'd wait for you forever but i know you'll never come
so i sat down and i remembered-
this is where i started from
corporeal
kaleidoscopic mind with
streaks and waves moving
like traffic lights
learn to see the
color of hope
feel the texture of
despair like
sandpaper
scratching against the skull
sharks in the brain
eating memories like candy
taking away sacred parts
losing puzzle pieces
needing to feel that fit
fireworks behind eyelids
maps on fingerprints
the body is a translation
of texts from long ago
lullaby
if if if
tattooed on my skin
the only map i can draw for you
use me as your canvas
tap out your morse code
the rhythm like a pulse
untitled fragment
i feel
like my insides
are made of icy
stars
sum of her parts
i dream of angels with iron wings
a god with jaws of steel
who bites this world in two
and spits out the mountains like cherry pits
a devil next door with a face of plaster
black roots pulling the house to the ground
evil in a word, a breath, a drop of blood
that rips you from inside out
i dream of blood secrets, a whispering moon
my skin a scroll my eyes a prophet
my bruises a promise my scars a song
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